We make holes in teeth!

Friday, June 20, 2008

Cycle 28

I'm going to post this from the BB on the train because I can. Blogger is coolio like that. Like that. Yes yes ya'll.

I'm pretty tuckered out at the end of the day. I had absolutely nothing to do today so I went a little stir crazy by about 1:00. Still played with the PHP stuff but didn't have all my resources set up at work so it wasn't as efficient as it could be.

Catching the early train home, the 4:12 out of NYPS. Looking like this may be a solo trip, oh well.

On tap this weekend is a pre-ride of the KVSP race course with some of the team. I crashed there twice yesterday, once pretty hard. So I took it pretty easy after that. Hopefully the conditions will be a bit better tomorrow.

Sunday who knows. I may start a bit of a taper because next Sunday is the last H2H race until September. So I'm thinking a 1:15 sprint around the swamp. Then lower volume accordingly the rest of the week.

I figured out that I'm in 6th place in the H2H series standings which is good considering I shit the bed and pulled a 15th last weekend at Stewart. I guess I never really posted about that but we talk so much about the races on the team forum it seems like I'm all talked out about it. Anyway I blew my load trying to stay with the lead pack and blew up early in the race. I had also over-trained the weeks before that.

One of my teammates Ruth suggested that I might be low on protein - kinda out of the blue. Well after I looked more into my eating habits I think she may be right. We'll give it a full 2 weeks to see how that plays out but so far I think she was on to something.

Anyway, have a good weekend.

Victim: Nobody.


Old Men

Post work Wednesday. Sometimes I hate this fucking game.

Cycle 26

Victim: Father Time, or a close relative. Male, 50+, white, not fat, married, regular, Summit. I know this douche face from past trips. He's about as obnoxious as it gets. Loud, on the phone, disrespects your space. Again, this is one of those days when I question why I do this.

Why are all the really bad riders men?

He starts out by making 6 phone calls before we leave the station. Then he's constantly going in and out of his pockets, jamming his elbow into me. Tries making jokes with the conductor, but one of them is such a Luddite that they stare blankly at each other. Keeps talking to the woman in the in front of us. He makes more calls then reads a paper, constantly violating my space.

Assessment: Bad.

You know, this work from home stuff is great. Spent a good amount of time brushing up on my php skills this week which is cool because it gets me back into coding something, anything. At first I was rusty as shit but it all comes back soon enough.

Cycle 27

Feeling good this morning. I took a less aggressive seat today just to shake things up a little. Still in the middle of the train but also middle of the car which changes things a little. There doesn't seem to be a lot of people on the train today so Summit is likely.

Victim: After the train pulled out of Summit I got snagged. It was almost nobody. Summit, man, white, 50+, not fat, not regular, married. He pulls out an electronics device which looks to have Chinese characters on it. Then he pulls out a book and I see it's Japanese. Generally quiet and all he does is read but he has a jacket on and the sleeve rubs my arm which makes me either constantly itch or have to remove my arm.

Slowly his minor space violations turn into medium space violations as first his foot - his foot? - slides over and violates my shoe space. What the hell is that? Then his leg. I wonder if this guy is gay. He fits the profile but then who doesn't anymore? I can't imagine anyone would target me for something like this. Guess I shouldn't have worn my Village People t-shirt today.

As we enter the tunnel he gets up and walks to the door, thankfully. As he gets up I can verify that he smells like some recluse older people smell, with a hint of moth balls.

Assessment: Bad, a little creepy. Chalk another one up to "why am I doing this again?"


Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Now With Pictures!

I feel almost James Brown good this morning. Just a little thirsty. I'm glad you guys like the experiment. I sat closer to the mid-front of the train today so this won't last long.

Cycle 25

Victim: Not long at all, first stop someone sits next to me. Berkeley Heights, woman, Asian, 40-49, married, not fat though maybe a little chunky for an Asian, regular. She smiles as she sits down, appears very friendly. Busts out her Blackberry and I see from an email her name is Julie. Good guess her last name is Chen. Gotta be 50,000 Julie Chens in the world. She is wearing an entire outfit of lime green, slightly muted but lime green. If I remember I'll snap a picture on the way off the train. Her scarf is multi-colored, traditional Chinese BAM colors. Left wrist is a jade bracelet-watch, right wrist a tennis bracelet and single jade ring. Glasses. Nat's cousin once told us that Asian women dress in really loud colors because they're all thin and have straight black hair, so this is how they distinguish themselves. She sits down and types, "Day 56 on my experiment to sit next to the grossest guy I can." Eventually she pulls the New York Times.

Assessment: Good. Without question Asian woman, at least those over 30 years old, are very respectful of other people. Asian men, a different story, as more often than not they'll drool on you if you get too close. So a 40-49 Asian woman is a great seat mate, in general.


Old Skool comments today.


"Love the experiment, although I think to be more accurate, it's your writing and observations about mundane life that are so interesting and amusing. IOW the experiment could be anything, as long as it gave you an excuse to write. Keep it up. Or don't, just keep writing."

This is totally fun and makes my train ride shorter. I find myself thinking up different Jackass-like scenarios to add to the fun. Like maybe smear mustard on my face before I get on the train and see if anyone notices. Adding pictures would just raise it to a whole other level but I might eventually get myself in trouble if I do that.


"I agree with Terren and I love the experiment as well and the voyeuristic nature of it. Great writing and I find myself laughing at my desk at times reading it. And while not every female riding companion can be a pole vaulter, it is interesting to see dynamics at work. It strikes me, w/o adding the numbers, that your % of male vs. female seat companions favor the female. Does this mean that more women ride the train and its simply the probability is higher for a female seat sharer? Is it perhaps an observation on society that a strange woman likes to sit in the seat with a strange man? Do these women feel that maybe you are a gay man and are unthreatening? The analysis could be never ending."

The social politics are fascinating. I'll lay out what I know. The train is more men, no question. When I took the window-side of the 3 seater there was about an equal split between the 3 options: man, woman, nobody. I could increase the odds of it being nobody by moving further back in the train. The odds of it not being a man were increased if a big guy, or minority, sat next to me.

So why do women often choose the 2 seater with me? Here's an odd observation. Some women will choose to sit next to a guy in a 2 seater instead of anyone in the 3 seater even if there's only 1 person in it. I guess the 2 seater is more stable? I've yet to really figure that out.

Another observation is that some women will only sit in a 2 seater next to another woman. Some guys will pick out the hottest woman in a 2 seater and sit next to her. This is a pathetic spectacle some days. Some guys are such sad cases. This is probably why some women will only sit with other women.

Another rule seems to be that you can throw out all the rules once you hit Summit. Anyone will sit with anyone because there are more people than seats so people are in a mad rush to sit down, even though the shot to NYC is direct with no stops, maybe not even 30 minutes. It's amazing how frantic some people, more often men, are at Summit.


"I say the religious woman accidentally came across this blog a few weeks ago, scrolled down and caught a glimpse of you in your lycra outfit. She then sought you out on the train and "happened" to sit next to you. The praying was for you to give them a little touch."

I think this is likely. I forgot to mention a few things about that ride. At some point, she was lightly singing the early 90s tune, "Wiggle It, Just A Little Bit." As we entered the tunnel, she stood up and whipped her fun stuff back and forth like a blender. Eventually she declared, "It's that kind of party! I'm the mashed potatoes!"

Shit, did I mention my mother and wife read this blog? WTF is wrong with me?


Monday, June 16, 2008

Is This Thing On?

"hello? is this thing on?" - Steve

A great question, great question indeed. Well yes and no, right? It hasn't been formally turned off but it's not like my muse is flowing like a weeping wound or anything. Let me see what I can do...

Cycle 19

If you find yourself in either of these conversations, shoot yourself:

Person: Well at least it's Friday.
You: Finally!


Person: it's getting hot.
You: Yeah it is.

Here's what you might as well be saying:

Person: OMG I hate conversations with you.
You: Fucking A.

Why pretend, people? I don't get it.


A bit of a long day but I couldn't really say why. Some days are just longer than others for reasons you can't pinpoint. Though I think many (most?) People would come up with a reason even if it's wrong. People seem to need an answer, something to identify. As I get older I think I embrace the notion of not knowing more and more. Things just are. Life just is.

So I'm tired, a bit. It's Friday so this train may be packed.

Victim: Wow that didn't take long at all as this train packed in very fast. White, woman, not fat (they never are), 30-39, regular, not married, station Summit+. Very conservative looking, like someone who could be a religious type. Brown hair, average looks, sunglasses holding her hair up, dresses up as a clown every Halloween. Pulls out an appointment book and pen then stares off into nowhere. She pulls out a book, I can't identify it. She has a red/pink blouse top and black sweater. This is interesting. She constantly adjusts her blouse top, seemingly either not satisfied with how much she covers up or how little.

Ok without question the women who sit down are much more interesting to blog about than the men. There just aren't really any social dynamics at work when a guy sits next to you.

Assessment: Good. Just sat and read and occasionally tugged at her blouse giving me mild entertainment as I wondered what was going on in her head.

Cycle 20

This one is from *last* Monday. Jeez.

You know, I feel damn good. How often does Monday roll around and you wake up 30 minutes before the alarm at 5:30 and by the time you're sitting on the train you can honestly say that you feel really, really good? Probably not often.

I rode 3 times in the past 4 days, and this heat on top of those rides really started to bog me down. By the end of yesterday I was pretty spent. My GPS links are as follows:

Thu: 35 road miles
Sat: Lewis Morris 4 race loops
Sun: 39 road miles

(Too lazy to actually link these)

I basically did another LM race Saturday, plus 1 lap. My 3 lap time was 20 seconds off my race time so it was a good pace. That left me a little empty yesterday, especially since I had 3 beers Saturday night, then was out the door at 7:00 riding in the early morning heat. Blah this stuff sucks.

Race this weekend. I'm a bit over-extended so I'm going to ride just Tuesday and Wednesday and skip Thursday and Friday this week. I need to make sure I don't totally blow myself out this week. I've been at this long enough to know I'm walking on the edge right now so I've got to keep it in check so I don't end up sick and out on Sunday.

By the time we hit the tunnel into NYC I'm feeling a bit tired. Looking forward to some oatmeal and a second cup of coffee. My coffee at home has been pretty disappointing lately. Today was particularly unimpressive. I think my current beans came from Brazil and they're nothing to write home about.

Victim: How fucked up is this? The girl who is interning for us at work sat next to me. Not sure if this should count or not. I doubt there's any chance she would have sat next to me if she didn't know me. Oh well, I guess stats are stats. But I've never had anyone I know sit next to me before. Murray Hill, woman, 19-29, married, not fat, regular. Not attractive. sir, no pole vaulting in her past my FatCat friend. Thankfully she asked me if it was ok to listen to her iPod. Really, she asked me. She seems to have tabbed me as the person she should look to for guidance at work. Sucker!!! Someone smells like moth balls on the train.

Assessment: Indifferent. Not so much her but I simply don't want to feel like I have to talk to her. If she were just another passenger it would be good because she totally keeps to herself. But this is my experiment, dammit! Bah!

Cycle 21

After work Monday and the train is pretty full today. That could spell trouble.

Victim: me. Makes me rethink the experiment on days like today. Huge guy, white, married, 30-39, fat, station Summit, regular. This guy hit the seat almost running, he needed to sit down so bad. Take it easy people. He's a male nurse, wearing all green. Has some sort of electronic device he holds 6 inches from his face. The big fat huge woman behind us is humming. Literally humming. She's a regular cow and I knew I should have stayed away because I know she's loud. He pulls out a Macbook.

Assesment: Bad. Sorry bro you're too big.

Cycle 22

I sat further back in the train today. This probably changes the station to Summit and I think rules change once you get there as people take any seat regardless of train social politics.

Victim: Summit, woman, Asian, regular, married, 40-49, not fat. This woman has been taking the train as long as I can remember. Like clockwork she's on this train then she takes the A subway uptown from Penn Station. Goes to the iPod right away. Moderately attractive, nothing really of note to write about here.

Assessment: Good. She's a regular who knows the train game and as such she's a good seat companion.

Cycle 23

Friday morning.

Victim: Summit, woman, married, 30-39, not fat, white, regular. Decently attractive, wearing a crazy tight light gray top that exposes her ample "assets" quite prominently. Now follow me here. I understand that she wears this to bring attention to her breasts. I get it, it's what some people do. But here's the inconsistency. She opens up a little prayer book, reads a prayer, then does that little prayer thing with her hands over her heart or whatever, the "north south east west" thing.

I'm having trouble mixing the 2. If she's a highly religious woman why is she displaying her C cups for everyone to see? This is one of those "no doubt" shirts. It's like putting nothing but a sock on your junk and saying, "Yeah, nobody will notice that."

She pulls out an iPod then opens a few bills then tries to go to sleep.

Assessment: Bad. As much as I'd love to always sit next to big breasted religious women in tight shirts, she kept violating my space with her elbow and jamming it into my arm.

Cycle 24

Monday morning, today

Victim: Summit, white, male, 19-29, regular, not married, not fat. IPod on. Cheesy shave as if he's 2 days into growing a goatee. Pretty boring overall. Pretty ugly I think.

Assessment: Indifferent. Not bad but he was hot to sit next to, radiating heat.

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