We make holes in teeth!

Saturday, April 15, 2006

The Best Ride In 3 Years

Today I rode my best average in 3 years. I did a 25 mile loop and averaged 17.3, way outpacing anything I did last year and posting my fastest ride since July 19, 2003, when I doled out an 18.6 on a 16 mile loop. Overall, this is the second fastest pace I have ever kept and the best for such a long ride. All of this on the heels of having ridden for 2 hours at Chimney Rock yesterday, having drank 3 beers last night, and having eaten a 3 egg omelet with 3 slices of bacon and 2 slices of cheese for breakfast.

I don't really know what to make of this, to be honest. I think a few things are obvious from the door. The first is that mountain bike riding does a much better job getting me in shape than road riding. Secondly, the beers aren't slowing me down. I'm already running better averages this year than at any point last year. Third, sleep helps much more than I suspected. I got a wonderful 9.5 hours of sleep last night and it showed today. Fourth, apparently a big (non-carb loaded) breakfast doesn't hurt. I suppose an argument could also be made for proper recovery and drinking lots of water, as well as stretching. But I've always done those things. The other 4 items are not entirely expected.

In any event, I'm probably in the best shape I could possibly be in for April. I didn't feel like I was lighting the world on fire when I was out there. In fact, I went out to ride a pace ride and enjoy the day, since it was such a nice one and I had ridden hard yesterday. But as I was almost halfway through, I noticed my average was up in the 17 area, and kept at it. I suppose another mention could be made for a slower start and warming up to the ride. That's probably a good fifth in the list above.

I also planted a bunch of pansies in the flower bed today. Maybe that's another key element in the mix.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Shut Your Pie Hole You Fucking Tramp

What is it with people who think we all want to hear what they have to say while riding on the train? If you happen to be one of the very few extremely loud people who gab away on your cell phone completely unaware of those around you , let me clue you in on a little something. Not only do we not want to hear what you have to say, we hate you. I'm not referring to the "general we" and the "royal you". I'm referring to the 39 other people on this train car right now. We all hate you, specifically.

On Saturday, NJ enacts the Something-Or-Other-Named-Non-Smoking Bill, which means all bars and restaurants will now be smoke free. I'm torn on this issue, because I see and understand the slow death of the free market and the increasingly heavy hand of the government at work. At the same time, I despise smoke. I also recognize this is democracy at work (which some will point out as a blatant violation of capitalism). If the majority of the people want it, who am I to say that a minority has the right to have it their way? If we have to deal with a bible-fucking government because the people want it, then I want to be able to eat in the diner in town without smelling like cock rot.

In the end, I'm all for the smoking ban because a) I don't like smoke and b) I understand that people are so astoundingly addicted to cigarettes that the tax revenue stream will never dry up no matter what legislation you clamp on it. If only the douche bags would legalize marijuana maybe our fucking property taxes wouldn't be so obnoxious in this state.

So when I'm elected governor of NJ I'm going to enact the Non-Cell-Phones-On-the-Train Bill. This will outlaw talking on your cell phone for more than 60 seconds while on the train. See, I'm not an unreasonable guy. I figure that 60 seconds is plenty of time for you to scream that you can't hear the other person and that you'll call them back when you get off the train. There's really no need to draw that halting conversation out for 12 minutes.

This post, as it turns out, was inspired by a plump, dark/reddish-haired, middle-age woman with a slight lisp, dressed in a suit, on the 4:32 Gladstone train out of Hoboken who got off at Summit. If you happen to know this woman, or are this woman, I heartily encourage an intervention or epiphany. We would all thank you for it.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006


There's been a lot of waiting for the kid to be born. There's little I can do about it but be patient. For the most part, I'm indifferent about the waiting. Things happen as they happen. I don't go about my life any differently on a daily basis. But there is one aspect that I'm a little anxious about, which is the fact I can't take my new mountain bike anywhere but Chimney Rock for the time being. I'm really itching to go to Round Valley and lose myself there. But if she goes into labor when I'm 9 miles from the car, it could be a good long time before I get back. Granted, I work in Brooklyn so the same could be said for any work day. But at least I'd get home and not need to eat lunch and shower, which is the case if I'm riding when she goes.

So for now, I wait. And I content myself with riding Chimney Rock or on the road. There's plenty of time in the future. I know. But my bike is new now.

Accommodation in aviemore