We make holes in teeth!

Monday, June 16, 2008

Is This Thing On?

"hello? is this thing on?" - Steve

A great question, great question indeed. Well yes and no, right? It hasn't been formally turned off but it's not like my muse is flowing like a weeping wound or anything. Let me see what I can do...

Cycle 19

If you find yourself in either of these conversations, shoot yourself:

Person: Well at least it's Friday.
You: Finally!


Person: it's getting hot.
You: Yeah it is.

Here's what you might as well be saying:

Person: OMG I hate conversations with you.
You: Fucking A.

Why pretend, people? I don't get it.


A bit of a long day but I couldn't really say why. Some days are just longer than others for reasons you can't pinpoint. Though I think many (most?) People would come up with a reason even if it's wrong. People seem to need an answer, something to identify. As I get older I think I embrace the notion of not knowing more and more. Things just are. Life just is.

So I'm tired, a bit. It's Friday so this train may be packed.

Victim: Wow that didn't take long at all as this train packed in very fast. White, woman, not fat (they never are), 30-39, regular, not married, station Summit+. Very conservative looking, like someone who could be a religious type. Brown hair, average looks, sunglasses holding her hair up, dresses up as a clown every Halloween. Pulls out an appointment book and pen then stares off into nowhere. She pulls out a book, I can't identify it. She has a red/pink blouse top and black sweater. This is interesting. She constantly adjusts her blouse top, seemingly either not satisfied with how much she covers up or how little.

Ok without question the women who sit down are much more interesting to blog about than the men. There just aren't really any social dynamics at work when a guy sits next to you.

Assessment: Good. Just sat and read and occasionally tugged at her blouse giving me mild entertainment as I wondered what was going on in her head.

Cycle 20

This one is from *last* Monday. Jeez.

You know, I feel damn good. How often does Monday roll around and you wake up 30 minutes before the alarm at 5:30 and by the time you're sitting on the train you can honestly say that you feel really, really good? Probably not often.

I rode 3 times in the past 4 days, and this heat on top of those rides really started to bog me down. By the end of yesterday I was pretty spent. My GPS links are as follows:

Thu: 35 road miles
Sat: Lewis Morris 4 race loops
Sun: 39 road miles

(Too lazy to actually link these)

I basically did another LM race Saturday, plus 1 lap. My 3 lap time was 20 seconds off my race time so it was a good pace. That left me a little empty yesterday, especially since I had 3 beers Saturday night, then was out the door at 7:00 riding in the early morning heat. Blah this stuff sucks.

Race this weekend. I'm a bit over-extended so I'm going to ride just Tuesday and Wednesday and skip Thursday and Friday this week. I need to make sure I don't totally blow myself out this week. I've been at this long enough to know I'm walking on the edge right now so I've got to keep it in check so I don't end up sick and out on Sunday.

By the time we hit the tunnel into NYC I'm feeling a bit tired. Looking forward to some oatmeal and a second cup of coffee. My coffee at home has been pretty disappointing lately. Today was particularly unimpressive. I think my current beans came from Brazil and they're nothing to write home about.

Victim: How fucked up is this? The girl who is interning for us at work sat next to me. Not sure if this should count or not. I doubt there's any chance she would have sat next to me if she didn't know me. Oh well, I guess stats are stats. But I've never had anyone I know sit next to me before. Murray Hill, woman, 19-29, married, not fat, regular. Not attractive. sir, no pole vaulting in her past my FatCat friend. Thankfully she asked me if it was ok to listen to her iPod. Really, she asked me. She seems to have tabbed me as the person she should look to for guidance at work. Sucker!!! Someone smells like moth balls on the train.

Assessment: Indifferent. Not so much her but I simply don't want to feel like I have to talk to her. If she were just another passenger it would be good because she totally keeps to herself. But this is my experiment, dammit! Bah!

Cycle 21

After work Monday and the train is pretty full today. That could spell trouble.

Victim: me. Makes me rethink the experiment on days like today. Huge guy, white, married, 30-39, fat, station Summit, regular. This guy hit the seat almost running, he needed to sit down so bad. Take it easy people. He's a male nurse, wearing all green. Has some sort of electronic device he holds 6 inches from his face. The big fat huge woman behind us is humming. Literally humming. She's a regular cow and I knew I should have stayed away because I know she's loud. He pulls out a Macbook.

Assesment: Bad. Sorry bro you're too big.

Cycle 22

I sat further back in the train today. This probably changes the station to Summit and I think rules change once you get there as people take any seat regardless of train social politics.

Victim: Summit, woman, Asian, regular, married, 40-49, not fat. This woman has been taking the train as long as I can remember. Like clockwork she's on this train then she takes the A subway uptown from Penn Station. Goes to the iPod right away. Moderately attractive, nothing really of note to write about here.

Assessment: Good. She's a regular who knows the train game and as such she's a good seat companion.

Cycle 23

Friday morning.

Victim: Summit, woman, married, 30-39, not fat, white, regular. Decently attractive, wearing a crazy tight light gray top that exposes her ample "assets" quite prominently. Now follow me here. I understand that she wears this to bring attention to her breasts. I get it, it's what some people do. But here's the inconsistency. She opens up a little prayer book, reads a prayer, then does that little prayer thing with her hands over her heart or whatever, the "north south east west" thing.

I'm having trouble mixing the 2. If she's a highly religious woman why is she displaying her C cups for everyone to see? This is one of those "no doubt" shirts. It's like putting nothing but a sock on your junk and saying, "Yeah, nobody will notice that."

She pulls out an iPod then opens a few bills then tries to go to sleep.

Assessment: Bad. As much as I'd love to always sit next to big breasted religious women in tight shirts, she kept violating my space with her elbow and jamming it into my arm.

Cycle 24

Monday morning, today

Victim: Summit, white, male, 19-29, regular, not married, not fat. IPod on. Cheesy shave as if he's 2 days into growing a goatee. Pretty boring overall. Pretty ugly I think.

Assessment: Indifferent. Not bad but he was hot to sit next to, radiating heat.

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  • At 2:00 PM, Anonymous terren said…

    Love the experiment, although I think to be more accurate, it's your writing and observations about mundane life that are so interesting and amusing. IOW the experiment could be anything, as long as it gave you an excuse to write. Keep it up. Or don't, just keep writing.

  • At 5:38 AM, Anonymous FatCat said…

    I agree with Terren and I love the experiment as well and the voyeuristic nature of it. Great writing and I find myself laughing at my desk at times reading it. And while not every female riding companion can be a pole vaulter, it is interesting to see dynamics at work. It strikes me, w/o adding the numbers, that your % of male vs. female seat companions favor the female. Does this mean that more women ride the train and its simply the probability is higher for a female seat sharer? Is it perhaps an observation on society that a strange woman likes to sit in the seat with a strange man? Do these women feel that maybe you are a gay man and are unthreatening? The analysis could be never ending.

  • At 7:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I say the religious woman accidentally came across this blog, scrolled down and caught a glimpse of you in your lycra outfit. She then sought you out on the train and "happened" to sit next to you. The praying was for you to give them a little touch.

  • At 7:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I say the religious woman accidentally came across this blog a few weeks ago, scrolled down and caught a glimpse of you in your lycra outfit. She then sought you out on the train and "happened" to sit next to you. The praying was for you to give them a little touch.



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