We make holes in teeth!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Now With Pictures!

I feel almost James Brown good this morning. Just a little thirsty. I'm glad you guys like the experiment. I sat closer to the mid-front of the train today so this won't last long.

Cycle 25

Victim: Not long at all, first stop someone sits next to me. Berkeley Heights, woman, Asian, 40-49, married, not fat though maybe a little chunky for an Asian, regular. She smiles as she sits down, appears very friendly. Busts out her Blackberry and I see from an email her name is Julie. Good guess her last name is Chen. Gotta be 50,000 Julie Chens in the world. She is wearing an entire outfit of lime green, slightly muted but lime green. If I remember I'll snap a picture on the way off the train. Her scarf is multi-colored, traditional Chinese BAM colors. Left wrist is a jade bracelet-watch, right wrist a tennis bracelet and single jade ring. Glasses. Nat's cousin once told us that Asian women dress in really loud colors because they're all thin and have straight black hair, so this is how they distinguish themselves. She sits down and types, "Day 56 on my experiment to sit next to the grossest guy I can." Eventually she pulls the New York Times.

Assessment: Good. Without question Asian woman, at least those over 30 years old, are very respectful of other people. Asian men, a different story, as more often than not they'll drool on you if you get too close. So a 40-49 Asian woman is a great seat mate, in general.


Old Skool comments today.


"Love the experiment, although I think to be more accurate, it's your writing and observations about mundane life that are so interesting and amusing. IOW the experiment could be anything, as long as it gave you an excuse to write. Keep it up. Or don't, just keep writing."

This is totally fun and makes my train ride shorter. I find myself thinking up different Jackass-like scenarios to add to the fun. Like maybe smear mustard on my face before I get on the train and see if anyone notices. Adding pictures would just raise it to a whole other level but I might eventually get myself in trouble if I do that.


"I agree with Terren and I love the experiment as well and the voyeuristic nature of it. Great writing and I find myself laughing at my desk at times reading it. And while not every female riding companion can be a pole vaulter, it is interesting to see dynamics at work. It strikes me, w/o adding the numbers, that your % of male vs. female seat companions favor the female. Does this mean that more women ride the train and its simply the probability is higher for a female seat sharer? Is it perhaps an observation on society that a strange woman likes to sit in the seat with a strange man? Do these women feel that maybe you are a gay man and are unthreatening? The analysis could be never ending."

The social politics are fascinating. I'll lay out what I know. The train is more men, no question. When I took the window-side of the 3 seater there was about an equal split between the 3 options: man, woman, nobody. I could increase the odds of it being nobody by moving further back in the train. The odds of it not being a man were increased if a big guy, or minority, sat next to me.

So why do women often choose the 2 seater with me? Here's an odd observation. Some women will choose to sit next to a guy in a 2 seater instead of anyone in the 3 seater even if there's only 1 person in it. I guess the 2 seater is more stable? I've yet to really figure that out.

Another observation is that some women will only sit in a 2 seater next to another woman. Some guys will pick out the hottest woman in a 2 seater and sit next to her. This is a pathetic spectacle some days. Some guys are such sad cases. This is probably why some women will only sit with other women.

Another rule seems to be that you can throw out all the rules once you hit Summit. Anyone will sit with anyone because there are more people than seats so people are in a mad rush to sit down, even though the shot to NYC is direct with no stops, maybe not even 30 minutes. It's amazing how frantic some people, more often men, are at Summit.


"I say the religious woman accidentally came across this blog a few weeks ago, scrolled down and caught a glimpse of you in your lycra outfit. She then sought you out on the train and "happened" to sit next to you. The praying was for you to give them a little touch."

I think this is likely. I forgot to mention a few things about that ride. At some point, she was lightly singing the early 90s tune, "Wiggle It, Just A Little Bit." As we entered the tunnel, she stood up and whipped her fun stuff back and forth like a blender. Eventually she declared, "It's that kind of party! I'm the mashed potatoes!"

Shit, did I mention my mother and wife read this blog? WTF is wrong with me?



  • At 9:22 AM, Anonymous Terren said…

    "Some women will choose to sit next to a guy in a 2 seater instead of anyone in the 3 seater even if there's only 1 person in it. I guess the 2 seater is more stable? I've yet to really figure that out."

    In this scenario, is it probable that the 3-seaters will eventually be filled up? If so then the woman might be settling for a tolerable seatmate rather than gamble on the possibility of having to sit next to Jabba the Hut, or even just the kind of guy that snaps random pictures of women on the train and blogs about them.

  • At 10:44 AM, Anonymous FatCat said…

    The entire Vinny response is an absolute gem. LMFAO. However, I do think you're walking a dangerous path taking pics of the people. Although getting caught doing it would certainly add to the data.

    Cycle 87... got caught taking another picture today and the usual expletives followed. That makes, to date: Expletives 7x, threatened law suit 1x, phone number 2x (both Males), cheesecake pose 1x...

    Could be interesting data no doubt.


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