The Volkswagen Ipod

If, by some random chance of marketing, the aforementioned product comes to pass, please do me a favor and do not, under any circumstances let me buy this product. No matter how great it might seem, how amazing the reviews might be, under no circumstances are you to let me buy this product. This is like Young Frankenstein material here. When I go in the locked room with the monster, do not, no matter what I say, let me buy said product.

So my 1996 VW Trek dies again on the way to work today. This past weekend, it had the good grace to die in the driveway, not even bothering to turn over. Today, it decided to die on the way to the train station, likely my penalty for not heeding the warnings from the weekend. Now mind you, the train station is 1.2 miles away from the house. You would think that - assuming the car starts - it would be able to trudge 1.2 miles. It worked yesterday. No such luck today.

Halfway up the hill, the sputtering began. A few feet later, done. It was wet out, apparently the key ingredient to the car not working. Probably a spark problem of some sort. But currently I'm of the mindset that I need to break down 7-10 more times to establish a solid pattern. This morning was pattern element #2. I called in the wife to bring me the extra .8 miles, and I let it coast down the hill a little bit, thinking for some absurd reason the car was better off closer to the house. I dunno.

I made the train on time. It helps that a) the wife was .4 miles away and b) we're on the station-side of the tracks. I leave a few minutes early because the parking lot is actually on the other side, the far side. So there's no last second park and run to the train. You can try it, but you might get run over by the locomotive. Anyway, I made it on time, which is ultimately of little consequence because I work flex hours. But, you know how it is.

When I got home, I walked to the car, started it, and drove home. It had stopped raining this afternoon, so you gotta figure that counts for something. As I walked into the house my Ipod decided it didn't want to stop. I had to turn it off completely, as opposed to pressing the stop button. This is in addition to the innumerable problems I've already had with this fucking mind-of-its-own piece of electronics.

Anyway, like I was saying, about that Volkswagen Ipod...

Youth in Revolt

About a year ago, I read the book Youth in Revolt, by CD Payne. The book is/was excellent. I recommend you read it. I'm not here to talk about the book, however. When I got the book, there were some curious comments on the inside front cover, apparently by people who had read it and passed it on. Someone named Jessica Parker had started this in the hopes that all sorts of people would read it, comment on it, then pass it on. At the end of its long journey, the book would presumably be sent back to the originator. You can read more about the theory here, in an article by Jessica Foster herself:

Buy a book, read it, release it

Great in theory, but here's what happens. Along the way, someone snags the book, never gets around to reading it, then sells it to a used bookseller. Eventually, someone (like me) buys it online for a few bucks, then reads it. Well, this is how it happened, I presume. I ended up with the book, and I didn't find it in a coffee shop or a bus. No, it was for sale online for a few dollars.

I got in touch with Jessica Foster last year, poking her brain about the book and what I should read next. I didn't tell her I had the book at first, instead choosing to beat around the bush in the matter. Eventually I confessed, because the email exchange was going nowhere fast. I thought she clearly had a huge opinion of herself and almost no time to spend answering emails from dopes in New Jersey. So be it.

Anyway, I told her I had the book and was looking for something else to read. She said, in brief, "Try Harry Potter." I told her the book had been sold to a used store along the way, and this seemed to get her goat for about 8 seconds before saying something else dismissive. She never demanded I send her the book, or I release it into the wild. I never got back to her because the email conversation blew. I never had the heart to tell her only 2 or 3 people ever signed and passed on the book. Her dreams as described in the article above might have been dashed, but I didn't have the heart to tell her.

In any event, this is what happens when you set material objects free. They don't come back to you. They get abducted and sold for a small profit, usually to help fund some minor habit like smoking or beer drinking. Come to think of it, I'd be more than happy to trade it for a 6 pack of Dogfish Head.