Debate Week
You were never on the debate team in high school. You don't, in fact, know if there was a debate team in high school. You don't mind a good debate but you don't like drama, and abrasive debates. You like to think you avoid them but you also like to think you could take out Jordan in a game of one-on-one. You always thought it was a joke that Larry Bird had any chance in that game.
You get on the path and a guy runs the length of the path to get a specific seat. If it's that important you better let him have it. There end up being 50 people on your car and 2 have white coast, 2 green, and 1 red. The rest have black, including yourself. You consider making sheep noises but then that would be uncharacteristic of a sheep.
Yesterday you had an explosive disagreement with someone. It was not fun. But life, sometimes, deals you an Uno hand of green 2s. You wonder how many green 2s are in an Uno deck. You also think of the Super Mario Uno deck you just got at the house.
The video screen on the Path shows you Oscar updates. When you think of the word Oscar, the first 2 things that come up are Oscar the Grouch and The Odd Couple. You don't think of Ellen nor the Hollywood flubber than has flooded Facebook for the last day or 2. You don't care, but you also don't hold it against people who do. It always puzzles you when people feel the need to point out that they hate whatever is being discussed today.
A girl gets on the train and has enough makeup to make you think that Homer's makeup gun has finally made it to market. People just puzzle you.
The video screen also tells you everyone's horoscope. Today yours says something especially stupid, but you instantly forget what. You are reading a book on magical realism that is more real than magic, and 70 pages into it seems quite well done. You did not ride this morning but your back hurts nonetheless. You will ride tonight. Your coat seems to fit a hair less snug today.
This is your horoscope for the rest of the world: Today you will experience the last real cold day of winter. After today you're home free. Bet the house on RED.
You get in another debate at work. You eat a salad with tuna that is packed in oil. You have to admit that it tastes better. You drain the oil, and in the end oil is better for you than mayo.
Some people claim pigs can smile. You're not so sure about that.
You get on the path and a guy runs the length of the path to get a specific seat. If it's that important you better let him have it. There end up being 50 people on your car and 2 have white coast, 2 green, and 1 red. The rest have black, including yourself. You consider making sheep noises but then that would be uncharacteristic of a sheep.
Yesterday you had an explosive disagreement with someone. It was not fun. But life, sometimes, deals you an Uno hand of green 2s. You wonder how many green 2s are in an Uno deck. You also think of the Super Mario Uno deck you just got at the house.
The video screen on the Path shows you Oscar updates. When you think of the word Oscar, the first 2 things that come up are Oscar the Grouch and The Odd Couple. You don't think of Ellen nor the Hollywood flubber than has flooded Facebook for the last day or 2. You don't care, but you also don't hold it against people who do. It always puzzles you when people feel the need to point out that they hate whatever is being discussed today.
A girl gets on the train and has enough makeup to make you think that Homer's makeup gun has finally made it to market. People just puzzle you.
The video screen also tells you everyone's horoscope. Today yours says something especially stupid, but you instantly forget what. You are reading a book on magical realism that is more real than magic, and 70 pages into it seems quite well done. You did not ride this morning but your back hurts nonetheless. You will ride tonight. Your coat seems to fit a hair less snug today.
This is your horoscope for the rest of the world: Today you will experience the last real cold day of winter. After today you're home free. Bet the house on RED.
You get in another debate at work. You eat a salad with tuna that is packed in oil. You have to admit that it tastes better. You drain the oil, and in the end oil is better for you than mayo.
Some people claim pigs can smile. You're not so sure about that.
1 Comments:
At 7:50 PM,
Unknown said…
You were high when you wrote this weren’t you? Because there is no way a sane, trustworthy grown man could have typed this gibberish without their head fully in the clouds (or up their a$$).
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