Shut Your Pie Hole You Fucking Tramp
What is it with people who think we all want to hear what they have to say while riding on the train? If you happen to be one of the very few extremely loud people who gab away on your cell phone completely unaware of those around you , let me clue you in on a little something. Not only do we not want to hear what you have to say, we hate you. I'm not referring to the "general we" and the "royal you". I'm referring to the 39 other people on this train car right now. We all hate you, specifically.
On Saturday, NJ enacts the Something-Or-Other-Named-Non-Smoking Bill, which means all bars and restaurants will now be smoke free. I'm torn on this issue, because I see and understand the slow death of the free market and the increasingly heavy hand of the government at work. At the same time, I despise smoke. I also recognize this is democracy at work (which some will point out as a blatant violation of capitalism). If the majority of the people want it, who am I to say that a minority has the right to have it their way? If we have to deal with a bible-fucking government because the people want it, then I want to be able to eat in the diner in town without smelling like cock rot.
In the end, I'm all for the smoking ban because a) I don't like smoke and b) I understand that people are so astoundingly addicted to cigarettes that the tax revenue stream will never dry up no matter what legislation you clamp on it. If only the douche bags would legalize marijuana maybe our fucking property taxes wouldn't be so obnoxious in this state.
So when I'm elected governor of NJ I'm going to enact the Non-Cell-Phones-On-the-Train Bill. This will outlaw talking on your cell phone for more than 60 seconds while on the train. See, I'm not an unreasonable guy. I figure that 60 seconds is plenty of time for you to scream that you can't hear the other person and that you'll call them back when you get off the train. There's really no need to draw that halting conversation out for 12 minutes.
This post, as it turns out, was inspired by a plump, dark/reddish-haired, middle-age woman with a slight lisp, dressed in a suit, on the 4:32 Gladstone train out of Hoboken who got off at Summit. If you happen to know this woman, or are this woman, I heartily encourage an intervention or epiphany. We would all thank you for it.
On Saturday, NJ enacts the Something-Or-Other-Named-Non-Smoking Bill, which means all bars and restaurants will now be smoke free. I'm torn on this issue, because I see and understand the slow death of the free market and the increasingly heavy hand of the government at work. At the same time, I despise smoke. I also recognize this is democracy at work (which some will point out as a blatant violation of capitalism). If the majority of the people want it, who am I to say that a minority has the right to have it their way? If we have to deal with a bible-fucking government because the people want it, then I want to be able to eat in the diner in town without smelling like cock rot.
In the end, I'm all for the smoking ban because a) I don't like smoke and b) I understand that people are so astoundingly addicted to cigarettes that the tax revenue stream will never dry up no matter what legislation you clamp on it. If only the douche bags would legalize marijuana maybe our fucking property taxes wouldn't be so obnoxious in this state.
So when I'm elected governor of NJ I'm going to enact the Non-Cell-Phones-On-the-Train Bill. This will outlaw talking on your cell phone for more than 60 seconds while on the train. See, I'm not an unreasonable guy. I figure that 60 seconds is plenty of time for you to scream that you can't hear the other person and that you'll call them back when you get off the train. There's really no need to draw that halting conversation out for 12 minutes.
This post, as it turns out, was inspired by a plump, dark/reddish-haired, middle-age woman with a slight lisp, dressed in a suit, on the 4:32 Gladstone train out of Hoboken who got off at Summit. If you happen to know this woman, or are this woman, I heartily encourage an intervention or epiphany. We would all thank you for it.
1 Comments:
At 9:28 PM,
Anonymous said…
fucking, bible-fucking, cock, fucking
"oh my freakin ears"
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