Pushing Buttons?

Most of this has already been written elsewhere, but I merge it together for the sake of leaving it as a talking point somewhere in the cyber-vomit of this blog. Now and again I feel the need to post here. I mean, when I'm not in Taiwan. I guess today is one of those days.

Anyway, here goes some form of recap and merge of the discussion...

The Original Thought

I listened to a Radiolab podcast the other day, or was it Freakonomics? It doesn't matter which it was, or what the topic was. That's fine, as I don't remember the topic either. What the key point was, is this. A researcher gave 2 control groups sports drinks, and put them on bikes in a lab. The 2 groups had different sports drinks:

1. Real calories for the first
2. No calories for the second

Here's what they did, and what they knew:

1. They rode their bikes (obvious)
2. They did not know if they had a real or fake sports drink
3. They drank the drinks, but spit them out

What do you suppose happened? In theory, you would think that both groups would perform the same. But why would I be writing this if that were the case? In fact, the group with the "real" drink performed better than the one with a fake one. This, even though they did not ingest the sports drink. Odd, right?

So I don't have much more, but the theory is that your subconscious mind and your conscious mind do not, in fact, communicate much at all in this transaction. So when the body tastes the sugar, it releases energy in anticipation of your receiving some energy, even though you spit it out. The fake drink does not have this same effect. Disclaimer: I did not read up more about this. The study may have been proven to be BS. I don't know.

To me, this really begs the question, are eating habits and energy systems somewhat out of our control? At least, are they out of our control as we think of them? What if you could actually trick your subconscious mind into acting a certain way even though you were consciously doing so? I mean, without a miracle pill. Is it possible? Desirable? Does it bother you?

This strikes me in various ways as I listen to more and more Radiolab episodes. Could I control my hunger better? Could I do something that made me less nervous before bike races? Might I find some magic combination to release a flood of energy when it's time to line up? Perhaps some sequence of events that would tell my brain to shut down and sleep better?

I find this all interesting.

Ok, I remember now. It was Radiolab, the podcast was about limits:
http://www.radiolab.org/2010/apr/05/

As recommended by Eric. It was a good listen. Give it a shot.

The Next Day

Pushing Buttons

We all have these buttons we push, right? Everything can probably be boiled down to that metaphor, or simile, whichever it is, if it's either of them. You can see several of them here. Training & racing, weight loss & appetite control, and social interaction.

The reality is that all 3 are a mystery. What button do I push to affect what outcome? This morning, I went on a bike ride. Or I pushed a button. I pushed a 20 minute button, which is 1/3 of the normal Thursday hard hour. This is a series of buttons we call a taper. Will this series of buttons produce the outcome as I hope? I don't know. History tells me that no, it won't. These peaks and tapers almost never work out as planned. So to expect the button to trigger what you want is probably sheer lunacy.

Yet I push the button anyway. It's good to believe something. If the monkey keeps pushing the button and eventually a peanut comes out, he'll keep pushing the button. This is why you keep hitting New Posts or Get Mail.

Those of us north of 150 pounds seem to always look for the button to push to control our appetite, and lose weight. If I push the right series of buttons and get a cat 3 upgrade this year, then push the button to sign up for Battenkill, I shouldn't even show up to that race unless I can push the right buttons to be 170 at most when that race rolls around.

And social interaction is another quagmire of button pushing. One I'm not even going to talk about.

Eric Replies

For me, the takeaway from all the Radiolab-type neurosciencey bits is this: we are less in control of ourselves than we think we are.

In which case, the corollary might be something like this: If we want to be in control of our ourselves, then we must understand how our conscious and subconscious minds work. And, we must be skilled in the art of mental jujitsu so that we can trick our minds into actually doing the thing we really wanted to do in the first place.

If you like radiolab, read Jonah Lehrer. He's a frequent (perhaps too frequent) guest on the program. I recommend his book "How We Decide" and also his blog on Wired (http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/frontal-cortex/). In fact, he has a recent blog posting that might be right up your alley in which he discusses a new scientific study about vague information vs. precise data and how they related to performance and weight loss. Rather than trying to paraphrase it I'll just quote the Study's conclusion:

"Is the eternal quest for precise information always worthwhile? Our research suggests that, at times, vagueness has its merits. Not knowing precisely how they are progressing lets people generate positive expectancies that allow them to perform better. The fuzzy boundaries afforded by vague information allow people to distort that information in a favorable manner. This latitude positively influences behavior by affecting outcome expectancies. Conversely, the very nature of precise information prevents people from distorting it and forces them to be objective about their expectancies, which in turn may have a less positive influence on performance."

Toss that into the data vs. no-data debate.

To Which I Reply

And yet, remember the Choices episode about the guy who essentially had his emotion cortex (or whatever) removed in that surgery? Without emotion, he was basically unable to make simple decisions such as which pen to pick up (black versus blue in the example).

Sort of them saying, Do you even really want to do what you think you want to do? I'm not sure what the answer always is.

The data vs no-data idea strikes me as very Alan Watts-ish, specifically in regard to spotlight versus floodlight consciousness. Having a conversation in a car highlights both of these. Spotlight is the conversation, while floodlight is your ability to drive without really paying attention.

I'm *this close* to unifying the world's theories.

In Conclusion

I thought I had more to add. But I don't.I feel that while everything is unique, it's also all connected in a way I don't understand. As it is, maybe this whole discussion begs the question of my really wanting to understand "it all" anyway. Would any of this be fun if I figured it all out? What if I found that series of buttons which would allow me to lose 40 pounds and crush on the bike? What if I got everything I wanted with a series of doing simple things? Would that render the ends less desirable once I actually got there?

Or would it just cause me to redefine my ends? I don't know the answer to that question. Since the buttons appear to be so obscure, or non-existent, I probably don't need to worry about any of that.

Taiwan - One Month Later

Here I am, one month later.

Today (when I sat down to write this), it is actually 3/14, a month and 2 days later, though the weekend we got back was a sort of jetlag-hell hole blur in a way. So a day or 2 isn’t going to make much of a difference, though I may not actually hit publish on this post for a few days. Whatever. Where am I now, how does the trip look, do I know Chinese, are we going back, am I a practicing Daoist? I hope to have all of these answers and more in the post, though nothing in life is ever simple, so there may be more uncertainty than not. But this is life, and the only thing that is certain in life is, well, nothing, since nobody knows what happens when you die and it seems like half the world doesn’t actually pay taxes.

House Changes

Coming back from any trip usually involves a rearranging of deck chairs on the Titanic in some way, and it was no different for us this time. What was different this time, however, is that we’ve really kept the momentum and changed the house for the better. The living room is almost back to being a normal room, and a huge amount of Julia’s stuff has been ported upstairs, which was also considerably cleaned. We gave several hundred pounds of stuff away to one of the veteran charities that come pick up stuff, and we tossed an old futon mattress that was just wasting space and of no actual use. We’ve ordered some furniture for Julia and we’re going to paint the big bedroom upstairs in her favorite color, which of course is pink. We’re having central air installed imminently, I think.

The bedroom was cleaned a bit, as well as the walk-in closet. The basement is only partially done but is coming along quite nicely. In all, with the exception of the old play room in the basement, the house is looking good. Why do I even mention this in a follow-up post about our Taiwan trip? Because this was driven by our returning from the trip and saying: hey, this place is a freaking disaster. Let’s make it more livable, like a house should be. The kitchen remains a bit of a losing battle though.

Cooking & Chinatown

Speaking of the kitchen, my cooking exploits have more or less ended with rice milk, soymilk, and scallion pancakes. I still have some pre-made scallion pancakes in the freezer and there’s fresh, cold rice milk in the fridge currently. So I haven’t folded up camp entirely. But the fire to try to cook different things has died out a bit, as can be expected. I did find a guava in Chinatown last week and Nat brought one home from the Asian market yesterday, which was a nice, albeit expensive, treat. Funny how much I didn’t like them 10 years ago and how much I love them now.

Speaking of Chinatown, I’ve gone twice since we got back, on each of the last 2 Mondays. I’m pretty much going into the office once a week now, only on Monday. At lunch, I run up to Chinatown to scout it out and grab some buns from the bakery and to look for other assorted foods that might be better than the decent-not-great food we can find in Jersey. Last week I did find some sticky rice treats that were good, though they did have coconut on them which screwed with the flavor a bit.

Daoism

Speaking of Chinatown I found a temple there the first time I went in, which was a pretty cool find. I had to go in, and I think the lady there was a little surprised when I grabbed some incense and walked to the back. I went again last week, and will likely go again today if I manage to make it out of the office in time. I have a meeting this afternoon which may put a hamper on that. At the same time, being stuck in the office all day is a drag so I’ll likely force myself to go head out early.

I don’t have much to add on the subject though, as I think it’s a bit early to say. I’ve been listening to some Alan Watts stuff, and I do find it interesting. I’m not sure he’s strictly a Daoist so much as what’s called a Zen Buddhist, which is apparently a Taoist interpretation of Buddhism, whatever that means exactly. He does talk about Daoism, Buddhism, and Confucianism, so he is well-versed on all 3, at least to my uneducated ears. At the core though, he is still a Westerner talking about Eastern Mysticism & Philosophy. So as it pertains to what I observe in Taiwan, I really haven’t gotten to any rubber-meets-the-road material just yet. I think that will take some time.

I’ve also bought some books on the topic but have yet to read any one of them completely and have not formulated much of an opinion either way. What I can say is that many of the philosophies I already live with are very resonant with things I’ve been absorbing, so it’s an easy win in a lot of cases. As 1 example, I’ve always been a firm believer in, “The journey of 1000 miles begins with the first step,” which is credited to Lao Tzu, though who the hell knows who actually said what 2500 years ago. I also firmly believe in the "wu wei" tenet which basically translates as "inaction" which can more accurately be translated as "not meddling with the nature of things."

I went to Chinatown again today, and I found a new Daoist temple, which was located on the 3rd floor of some building a bit off Canal Street. I was iffy about going in at all, since it was just a door with some writing on it. But there was a yin-yang symbol on the upper corner of the door so I went in, climbed up the somewhat creepy stairs, and found myself in the quiet of a fairly good-sized temple. The guy there talked to me for a bit, which isn’t usually the case when you go to these. He was a friendly sort, and we actually spoke a mix of English and Mandarin, which I only get to use for about 20 seconds once a week on Mondays when I go into the city.

Chinese Learning

On my learning of Chinese, I think I’ve made it clear how discouraged I was through the whole trip there. On that note, I have not picked up the audio lessons again since coming back, though I do plan on revisiting them and trying to figure out exactly where I went wrong. I think I may have been doing too much listening without actually trying to understand or memorize anything. Part of me seems to have just assumed that if I listened enough, it would just come to me. Well it didn’t, and hasn’t. So I’ll need a better plan if I want to move forward on that. I also need to figure out how to be more "street" fluent, which was a big disconnect while I was there.

One thing I have done is to slowly pick up the characters again. Most of the opinions on the matter categorically say that you should not do this, but I’m going against the grain and think that it will fit my personality well. Once I get to the point where I can read, even at a first grade level, that probably opens up so many avenues for me in terms of learning sentence structure and patterns. Right now, all I seem to have is Internet radio, which goes too fast, and the podcasts which are obviously too academic most of the time.

Plus, it will allow me to read the signs, which are everywhere in the country. Many times a sign will help bridge the understanding gap when going somewhere.

Passport and 2012

I went and got my passport renewal application and a haircut last week. The haircut is so I can go get a passport picture taken, which allows me to send in the renewal form. I’m not on the edge of my seat to get this done, though I would like to, so if we do decide to go next year it will be all taken care of. On that note, we have only vaguely discussed plans for going again next year. The same sort of hurdles remain, specifically the cost, my work situation, Julia’s school, a place to stay, and of course if we even want to go or not.

Don’t get me wrong, we both liked our stay there. But in thinking about going back we’re not sure if we want to do it quite so soon. Things get difficult to manage, and in looking back there were logistics problems which we may or may not want to deal with again. In a year from now we may both be itching to head back. But right now I think we’re both content to put off the thought process for another year and figure it out when it gets closer. It would obviously put a huge damper on my bike season, to the point that it would more than likely be a half season which ended when we left here. But in the grand scheme of things, it’s a small trade-off for an opportunity like this.

And really you never know what work will dish out so we might not even have the option. So for now, we’ll figure it out later. Having said that if I had to lay odds I’d say it’s slightly more likely than not. Summer is hot as hell but the fruit is awesome.

Calvin & Grace

The idea of going back next summer probably begs the question of what Calvin and Grace plan on doing. If they’re not there, the trip becomes less appealing. Their plans now are to come after Lydia is done with second grade, which would mean she finishes out this year, then has 2 more full years of school. That would put them in the states in the summer of 2013, which would make a trip then much more difficult since they’d be coming here. Nobody knows what state they’re moving to, or if they’re moving at all. So that’s a pretty wide open variable at this point.

If we take them at their word, 2012 becomes the last real good shot to go for the summer. If we do go, we’d likely spent the full 60 days there this time. Might was well get the most of the visa if we’re going to go.

Stuff & Memories

A month later, what physical things have made it into what I call, the "rotation of life"? The monkey mug has. I use this almost daily to drink tea from. Nat also likes it, even though it’s a bit on the small side, being just under 12 ounces I believe. That may have something to do with the goofy metric system or something, I don’t know. I brought 2 more back with us to give as gifts, and I’m strongly considering taking 1 of them and putting it into our rotation since we both like it.

Aside from that, the tea set I got sits on top of the fridge looking pretty, but not performing a big role since it’s from the "form over function" school and looks nicer than it performs. The wok is great, as is the blue rice scoop we brought back. Not sure I can think of anything besides that which made it into the life rotation. Some of the food remains, but that’s slowly disappearing. And of course the tea is in the freezer, waiting patiently to be inundated with hot water.

The glass dragons sit on a table, and Julia's things have made it back. But overall, we brought back 240 pounds of stuff and I can name about 15 pounds worth of that, most of which are the lions and the tea set. What was so heavy?

As far as memories, the bike holds most of the things I remember. In particular I remember climbing up Monkey mountain and being yelled at by the monkeys, as well as the open view of that river bed on the suddenly sunny day. I also fondly remember the snow-capped peaks the day after it snowed up on the mountain. The farms on the climb to Hero Hill, the grit of the roads, the MeiHua temple area at the base of it, the river trails up in Taipei – all things I remember fondly, and miss tremendously.

Off the bike, I always think of the food places. Night market, the breakfast place around the corner from Calvin’s place, 7-11 down near the apartment, the place we went to eat 3 times in a week while the in-laws were still there, and the glorious scallion pancake, the likes of which I hope to duplicate some day in my very own Eureka moment.

The One Thing...

If I could bring a single thing back with me, what would it be? My first instinct is to say the breakfast place by Calvin. Then I think the Hakka place we went to 3 times in a row down in Luodong might be it. But then I think maybe the rice ball stand in Ludong would be best. They only have 1 thing, but it’s the best rice ball you can get. If I could have that just once a week I’d be thrilled. I’m also strongly pulled by the bakery down in Luodong. I’ve scoured the bakeries in Chinatown with little luck in trying to find one even half as good as that one. The selection there was great, and I’d love to have it here.

Without question, it would be something to eat. If I'm forced to pick 1 place, it would have to be the breakfast stand near Calvin's. The rice ball is solid, and the fresh soy/rice milk is good. They also have a dozen other things you can eat. I've never ventured into Chinatown for breakfast. Maybe I should next Monday. Get up early and go, see if I can find my very own holy grail of rice balls there.

I made Nat answer the question and she wanted to bring the entire Taipei 101 here, which is a good answer but I had to strike it from the record. There are like 150 stores in the basement and it would be roughly the same as saying a 1 square mile area of Luodong. She finally answered that she'd take the dessert stand down in Luodong, which has tapioca balls and different starchy desserts.

Grooves & Ruts & Conclusions

So now it’s a month later and I’m back in my normal groove. I’ve always said that what 1 person calls a groove another calls a rut. It’s really the same thing with a different hat on. I think a groove is a good thing, though it can also be a way to delude yourself into thinking that what you are and where you are is better than it is. I’ve sort of gotten over the disappointment I experienced when we came back to the mediocrity that is New Jersey. Wait, I should be fair. New Jersey is actually quite good in many ways. But it’s not great in any way. To that end, I think we’ve both sort of fizzled out in our enthusiasm in trying to find any Chinese food worth a shit here. Just give it up, it’s not really that good.

After a dead 10 day period following the trip, I’m biking again, and I have a plan and goals and such. My race season has started, having done 4 races already. The past 2 Saturdays have seen me lining up at 7:15 in a small park in Newark to race a bunch of equally insane people who come out when the temps are still in the 30s. You’d think that the weather being so bad this year, and my having had carte blanche to ride, I would be killing it. I’m not, a point which has been exacerbated by the extra weight I still carry from the trip. I’m getting there, but I have some work to do still.

I do like riding with the guys again, and as much as I loved riding there I was on an island in regards to my biking, both literally and figuratively. The blog helped me connect my distant reality to anything at all. Left to my own devices with nobody to "talk" to, and I’d likely fall off and ride less. I think I would do slower but longer trips if I lived there, as so many awesome destinations await you if you’re willing to put the hours in to get there.

I make it sound like Taiwan is the greatest thing since sliced bread, and it’s not a fair thing to do, because it’s not. It’s just something different, an opportunity to do something most people rarely, if ever, get to do. I enjoyed myself and wish we could have stayed 8 weeks, or even 12. I don’t think the scale likes the sound of that, and if we do go back next year I’m going to need to keep better tabs on what I eat, when I eat, and how damn much I eat. And of course the air pollution is pretty bad, so you have to keep that in mind.

But I do miss it, and look forward to going back. I have no idea what will happen with the in-laws, my job, Calvin & Grace, or even our desire to go. But at this point, I remember the trip fondly and hope that we can do a repeat performance before too long, even if it doesn’t turn out to be next summer. One of these days I have to imagine we’ll be back, for some decent length of time. As Julia gets older, her desire might change from "I don’t care" to "I want to stay here for the summer," so this is something we’ll need to factor into the equation. But like anything, that’s just speculation.

So anyway, that’s a month later. I’ll probably be back for yet another follow-up of some sort, unless the thread of this trip entirely snaps in the next month. Again, I hope you enjoyed it.

Here's a video Terren passed along which is pertinent to the topic:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vksdBSVAM6g

Taiwan - One Week Later

One week later, and here I am. Here we are. I wanted to sit down 1 week, and then 1 month, later and write a little about the trip now that I've had a chance to decompress a bit. I'm pretty much over the jetlag, though I always contend it takes a solid week and with the stomach virus running through the house I don't think anyone is quite "normal" just yet. It was certainly harder coming back than it was to go.

On that note, the first few days, almost the whole week, I hated being here. I'm still not loving it, but it's a little better. Everything about "here" is just drab, so dreadfully boring. I've gone on a few bike rides, and the landscape just sucks. You have to drive everywhere and the drivers here, while fewer, all think they own the goddamn world. I also realize how much people here live an existence where they hide in their cocoons and come in contact with as few people as possible.

Jetlag and Being Sick

I'd like to thank all the parents out there who bring your children to school when they're sick. You know how people say "it's going around"? Well the reason it "goes around" is because your kid spikes a fever or throws up all night and you still send them to school. It's pretty easy to figure out really. If the kid has a fever, or is shitting and throwing up all over, yeah, go ahead and keep them home.

As you might guess, Julia and I are both sick with this stomach thing that's "going around." She got it from school of course, where some of her classmates have it. Mine was pretty low-key, maybe a 24 hour deal with some light residual the next day. Julia had a day of fever, then a day of crapping fire which was the most intense I've ever heard her cry, then yesterday was a day of vomiting all day. She must have thrown up 12 times. Awesome stuff.

Combine that with the jetlag and you have an awesome week. By "awesome" here I mean "not awesome" of course. On top of the jetlag, the past few days have just been a total drain on all of us. Julia was in constant pain with a stomach ache most of yesterday, which made all of us want to jump out the window many times. Living on the first floor takes some of the oomph out of that statement but you get the point.

I like jetlag sometimes. It's an opportunity to see the world in a time frame you normally wouldn't. One of the things a trip like this produces in you is a desire to get out of the ruts and routines you've established in the past whatever-time-frame. Waking up at 1-2-3:00 am makes life different, a little more interesting for a few days. Nothing is open, of course. So it's kinda limited. But it's not like you can run down to the breakfast shop and grab an early breakfast for $4. We went to the diner the other day and it was $25 for breakfast. This country is seriously cash mad. When the heck did 3 eggs start costing $6?

Speaking of diners, Utah said it best to me the other day when he said NJ is like a diner. Lots of things are good, nothing is great. Really hit the nail on the head with that one I think.

Diversionary Constructs

I used this expression the other day when talking to Bill. I think I create these diversionary constructs to remove my brain from the "here and now" a lot of times because it is so boring here that I need something else to make life interesting. I'm sure a lot of people are cool with the routine, and I'm sorry if I'm offending you in some way. I know that living elsewhere for 6 weeks like that seems like it would be a chore, and in some ways I admit it was. But for me, the routine often times means rut. I greatly dislike that in life.

So we, or at least I, setup what I refer to as diversionary constructs. And of course, you all know that this comes in the form of biking for me. Just 23 minutes into my first bike ride since being back, I started to think about training plans and how my race season was going to go. This is in stark contrast to my desire to just wing it this year, do fewer meaningless crap races, and do more epic rides and events to make life more interesting. I have time to rearrange my thinking. But it took all of 23 minutes of riding here to lose interest in where I am and start thinking about those diversionary constructs.

I think that's a lot of why I race and blog about it, because it gives me a vehicle to create this alternate world where NJ is more interesting than it really is. I've long contended that a place is as interesting as you make it. I still believe that, to a point. But I also have to admit that the grass field across the street is damn boring, no matter which way you slice it. So some places have additional perks which mean you have to work less to make it interesting.

Language

I've spent a lot of time trying to learn Chinese and several people have said to me since I got back that my Chinese must be rocking now. Well, my "street" Chinese has gotten better but the textbook language that I've been learning has gone to shit. I can survive in the country, scallion pancakes and coffee being an obvious example of one narrow window of how I can do that. But the scores of audio lessons I've listened to and reviewed amounted to almost no use while we were there, other than showing off to the taxi driver that I can say "seatbelt" in Chinese.

The best analogy is like this. Here is how I learned to speak:

I walk into a bar in England and want to order a beer. So I say, "Hello old chap. I was wondering if I could have a full glass of your finest barely-based alcoholic drink."

Someone then says, "Kibbles! Hey Stumpy, Blarney here wants an up of the old nig-nug. Primp up on the quick!"

It's kinda like that. All this time I feel like I've been learning stuff that nobody says. I mean here and there I recognized some words. But people speak in more of a street talk, not the "proper" way that they teach. For instance, they teach you to say, "I do no understand what you're saying," if you are confused. But in real life, they say the equivalent of, "hear no understand." It's very simple, "ting bu dong." A street vendor selling scallion pancakes more or less taught me that. So all the time I spent learning Chinese seems to have been somewhat of a waste. Or rather, I've gone right to high school conversations where most people speak grade school, at least as far as actual conversation goes.

That sounds like people speak like hacks. But it's more like if they taught you to say in English, "I'm sorry, I don't understand what you're saying." But then you went to the market and everyone just said, "Huh?" The sad reality is that nobody ever teaches you WTF "huh" means.

Huh?

On that note, I have not rolled out of the vacation trying to continue my Chinese skills. I'm not sure what my plan is. I need to do something, or give up entirely.

Food & Fat

I'm not going to deny it, I got fat on this trip. I don't yet know how much weight I gained because I've been avoiding the scale. Well I got back on it 2 times. The first time was right after the trip, and it said I gained only 3 pounds. The second was like 2 days ago and it said I gained 9. So it appears that I have gained 6 pounds in the week we've been back. I'm still sick right now so I'm going to wait to normalize a bit since my weight goes up when I'm tired/sick. But the takeaway is that unless I carefully track my calories in/out numbers, I get fat. Of course, those who saw me in the old days can attest to that. But every now and again I need to make sure. I'm sure.

Since we've been back, I've made my own soymilk, rice milk, and scallion pancakes. The soymilk was really good (though Nat thought it was a bit "beany"), the rice milk was once good and once so-so. And the scallion pancakes were ok, still a WIP.

Nat made one of the stewed pork & bamboo concoctions which came out great:



This looks good but was lacking salt, and may have been a bit too thick:



Open invite for any of this stuff to those people who a) still read and b) don't scare me.

Terren's Comments

I have cherry picked these, but I'm trying to pare stuff down. Terren gets his own section because he was the most consistent person to comment. I really had no idea who was reading the whole time but I did know T was. So in no particular order...

Look forward to next year's 60-day trip even if it means we don't get to see you guys for two months.

As I sit here now, on Saturday, kid vomiting up a storm and the weather sucking out there, I'm thinking that another winter trip is what I'd like to do. I'm actually bummed that we missed the Lantern Festival. I can do without the Chinese new year, since it's kinda meaningless in terms of public outings.

But there are a few considerations which might roadblock this. First being work. I need to make sure that whatever role I'm in allows it. Second would be Julia's school, and if she can bow out of kindergarten for 2 months. The final piece would be Nat's parents, and their plans to be there at the same time which would make things more difficult.

The lean right now would be to go for summer next year, or perhaps spring. Summer would eliminate 2 of the 3 issues, with the only remaining 1 being work. Spring would eliminate the in-law's trip plans. We'll see what pans out but at this moment, I'd say we're likely a lean to go again.

Anyway, looking forward to whatever you have to say about it. I'm a big fan of Alan Watts as you may know and everything he said about Taoism was fascinating, to me anyway. It might be the only mystical type religion I'm actually interested in.

Unfortunately I have nothing to add on the subject of Daoism right now. It's on my radar, but I'm too busy with work and vomiting child to think about much right now. Also rearranging the deck chairs on our own personal Titanic we refer to as a house. I get like this after every trip, but this effort has been the most effective so far.

Hey, know what, I dreamed last night that I was in Taiwan with you guys. I was driving around and kept messing up because the traffic was so strange. And then we made it the apartment you guys were staying in and Natalie proceeded to unfold this incredibly complex contraption which turned out to be an ironing board. I wish it was more interesting then that but I had to share.

I really have no comment on this but I wanted to share it with the larger audience.

You weren't kidding about the Betel Nut stands... just found this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Betel_nut_beauty.

There used to be many easy-to-look-at Betel Nut girls but those days are mostly gone now. You can still see them in Taoyuan county, but by and large they're manned by, well, sometimes men, but more often than not middle-aged women that don't exactly turn the eyes like the Wikipedia pic. We did see maybe 3 really nuts stands, all of which I missed the pic on. I wanted to go back and get a good shot but like many other things, we just never made it. If they sold good beer and had hot betel nut girls at the top of Taipei 101, that might have been 1 trip I was sure to have made.

These days, the girls that used to "man" the stands are working at cell phone stores or the mall, among other places. There's too much money elsewhere for most girls to slum to the truck drivers, which is the majority of the business of these drive-up shops. You often see the stands on busy roads that lead in & out of the towns, easy pit stops for the trucks as they leave town.

By and large, that era has passed in the country though. They will almost always draw my attention still, since there remains the off chance that you may catch a real Betel Nut Beauty. But more often than that, it's a middle-aged man who could stand to lose a few or 20 pounds sitting in the booth watching TV.

Stay Tuned

I hope to come back again with a last follow-up, 3 weeks from now, to put a final cap on the trip. Like many of the small plans we had for Taiwan, it may fall by the wayside and never happen. But I have some things written down that I'd like to address. I also hope to be done with the deck chairs here and maybe the weather will be nice and I won't dislike this state so much by then.

One thing I will add because I have it written on a post it note is that we brought back far too much snack food and far too little real stuff. In all, we seem to have carried back 20 pounds of things to eat, none of which will be around in a month from now. But the persistent things, like the tea seat and the glass dragons, were pretty sparse. In hindsight I wish we would have done more of the permanent additions and less of the stuff that turn into little piles of shit you flush down the toilet. Oh well, live and learn.

I also hope to be able to report back that I did not, in fact, gain as much weight as feared, that my Chinese is at near high school conversational level, and that the spring came astoundingly early this year. Alas, I won't hold my breath on any of those points but one can hope.

Taiwan Day 44 - Saying Goodbye

Last breakfast of the trip is the same shop we've been going to for the better part of the last few weeks. I was resigned to only get 1 thing, but when I got there I couldn't choose, so I ended up getting the same as the last 2 days - rice ball, soymilk, and scallion pancake/egg combo. This time I only ate half of each, and ended up throwing the rest away. I'm not a big fan of waste but in this case I felt it was necessary since I won't be able to get this stuff for another who-knows-how-long.

After breakfast I tied up the packing and got ourselves ready to go. The plan was to be ready to go at a moments notice so that when we got back, we could pick up and go if we had to. Not the ideal plan, but if we came back at 3:55, we could shoot out and not be late.

We met up with Calvin & family at the American Club. They had been out visiting Grace's parents that morning then had to run to Taipei for something, so we met there. Usually I'd reject the notion of the American Club for my last meal, but after something like 130 meals, really it didn't matter. Here's a shot of the inside:



For lunch, I got the sha cha jiang beef, which is Chinese BBQ sauce beef. I really enjoyed it so it ended up being a good stop for the last lunch:



Coming back from the bathroom I noticed someone sitting behind me that looked familiar. It turned out it was the guy from the liquor store who lived in Manhattan for 17 years. I said to Nat that you know it's time to go when you start "running into people" in a city of 3 million people.

We took our time eating then drove back to the apartment and jammed even more shit into our luggage and let the kids play for another hour before loading up the car and heading to the airport. There was no traffic so we were there early. Here's our mass of junk we're bringing back:



We asked which line to get into and the guy saw we had a kid and put us in the first class line. Sweet! However, when we got to the window the guy said he had no record of us. He took off for 10 minutes and came back and said that he found us, but it turns out that our return flight was booked for January 12th, not February 12th. That kinda sucks, but it turns out the flight wasn't booked so we not only got 3 seats, we got them together.

We had just over 110 kg of luggage, which is more than 242 pounds. That's absurd.

Wasting time before the flight, Julia wanted to look in the bathroom for who-knows-what-reason and I took a picture of us. I don't look like I got too too fat on the trip:



We then found a Hello Kitty gift shop where I dropped almost $30 on a Hello Kitty doll worth maybe $5 on a good day. We grabbed our last meal of mediocre beef noodle soup and bubble tea, then we got in the fast line to board because of the 4 year old. Once again, sweet!

The plane took off and once we got in the air I took a look at this, which hurts to even think about:



As long as the flight was, it ended up being only (only? only?) 13.5 hours and not 14.5. No idea why it was so fast but I'll take it. I'm not going to describe the flight because everyone knows what a plane is like. The food was so-so at best, kids cried on and off, and I slept about 12 minutes total, in 3 different attempts.

When we landed the gate to get out was broken so we were delayed slightly, but not long. Immigration was easy and we passed through to grab our luggage when the Fruit & Veggie dog identified us as being smugglers. Awesome! The lady asked if we had any fruits, veggies, or meats and we said no. But we forgot we had brought 2 bananas to snack on so we got nabbed for having them. She said it wouldn't be a problem but she took out immigration paper and put a big red mark on it, like in grade school.

Once we got to customs we had to go through the "troublemakers" line where the guy just told us we had to scan all our bags. The lady took the bananas and randomly searched 1 bag. She looked at the preserved eggs and said that they were ok since they came from Taiwan and not China.

Nat had called Joe (our ride home) when we got off and it turns out they had no idea we were coming home that early. We suck at planning but it worked out for the best. Actually, they were supposed to be in South Jersey but had come home early by chance. So once again, we got lucky. We got home about 9:30, in all just over 18 hours from door to door, which is as about as good as it gets.

I unpacked everything and listened to Wilco's Sky Blue Sky because of the memories I have of that album from the last return trip from Taiwan. I managed to get through all 242 pounds of stuff (plus the 2 carry-on pieces) before going to bed. I also had 2 Victory Storm King Stouts because I had to make amends for all the bad beer I've had in the last 6 weeks. Here's all the junk I managed to pack in the wok box, I needed to be efficient:



And that's just about that.

Oddly, I don't feel like I said a proper goodbye to the country. I don't know why I say that. I gave it a fair sendoff on the bike. But I feel like I should have said goodbye to the 7-11 coffee clerks and the breakfast shop lady, among other regulars we saw routinely. Maybe it's because I know we'll be back sooner than later. In the flight back, Nat and I already talked about possibly doing the same next year, but for the full 60 days of the visa. Usually when we're heading back, we're not thinking about coming back.

Coming back to the house, I didn't feel like I was "going home" so much as just going somewhere else to live for a little bit. I think a trip like this changes you in ways you don't actually understand, and may not ever understand. That may be part of it, I'm not sure. If I figure it out I'll let you know. In the meantime, I'm just doing what I can to keep my eyes open when they should be open, and closed when they should be closed.

There's probably no better way to end the story of our last day than to describe the last moment of the drive back to the house. When I backed the minivan into the driveway Nat said to Julia that we were home. Julia looked up, peered out the window, and said, "What parking lot is this?"

Thanks to all for reading my War & Peace on our Taiwan trip, and all the comments. Everything you guys have contributed have made me realize how special of an opportunity this really was, and I'm glad I took it. We'll see everyone next time.

Full picture set of the day here: Flickr set or slideshow.

Taiwan Day 43 - YingGe and Winding Down

Breakfast shop again this morning - rice ball, scallion pancake with egg, and soymilk. This is too much food but I like it so much that I need to get my fill in. Plus, they say something about eating like a king for breakfast is best. I guess they also maybe say to eat like a king for lunch and dinner too?



The morning is the first official day of Calvin's office opening after the holiday, so we go over there and they do the traditional burning of ghost money and lighting of fireworks and setting up the table with offerings to the gods. Like I said before, religion is just part of the culture here, though something like this is as much a "thing to do" as anything. How can you not agree to stand on the sidewalk and feed a fire?



After this we hit the road and head to YingGe one last time. This is the pottery village where we need to pick up a few more things, including a teapot I ordered to go with the set I bought last time we were there. I'll probably go home and put it away and never use it, which is what I seem to do every trip here. I also got a teapot from my man Darin, which I had forgotten about until it was time to start packing. I probably have 10 teapots at this point.

The traffic was bad, but we didn't have too much to do so it didn't disrupt our day too much. We had stopped at a photo place to print out some 12x18's for Nat's dad but they said it would take 3 days, which seems a little heavy to me but whatever. So we scrapped it and headed to YingGe and found it this time with no problem.

Here we ended up buying like 40 more pounds of shit but at this point my back isn't going to notice the difference between 14,443 pounds and 14,483. Nat liked this and I thought it was cool, but we weren't sure what it meant and we didn't want to bring evil spirits into our house:



After a generally crappy lunch of rice noodles, soup, and turnip cake (which was the 1 good thing) we drove to Taipei to pick up some pineapple cakes at some place which is famous for this stuff. This is the general script here. In the last few days you run to the food & snack shops and buy food that you can't get in the states. Of course, it has to be very good to lug it all the way back home. Once you get home, you'll eat 1/4 of it and let the rest go stale. But much like burning ghost money, it's part of the ceremony of the vacation.

One last look:



We never made it up but I've been there before and I was up on so many mountains with cloudy views that I didn't need to pay for a view of the clouds with 100 other people and a line. Maybe next time we can make it, maybe not. It was cool but I don't feel I missed out on anything.

We made a few stops on the way back for more odds and ends (14,489) and then Nat finished off by making dinner, which was pulled pork on top of mashed potatoes and candied carrots. It was really good, even though it was ultra simple. I topped it off with my last hurrah of beer drinking, what I would consider the best of the mediocre beers, Asahi Black:



Much of the night was spent packing. We have a lot of stuff, somehow we bought more than I thought.

Full picture set of the day here: Flickr set or slideshow.

Taiwan Day 42 - Cleaning Up Luodong

Even though I'm done with the bike I wake up early and shower by 7:00. I head out to get breakfast, at this point unconcerned about being able to communicate. I get 2 rice balls with egg and 2 soymilks. Nat and I enjoy a quiet breakfast while everyone sleeps. It's nice to just sit in silence once in a while.

We're out the door early, by 9:30 or so and we get down to Luodong before 11:00, which is a remarkable feat considering our general history and the fact Julia stays up past 11:00 every night these days. Even though the weatherman says rain, he really sucks ass at his job:



We start cleaning up the apartment for the last time and I get the bike a little cleaner and put it away in the back foyer, for lack of a better word. It's a covered area that is open to the air, which means the chain will be a pure pile of rust when I get back. I decided not to clean the chain because the muck on it will probably keep it protected for longer. I cover it with an old sheet as a token gesture to keep the in-laws from getting sick of looking at it.

Lunch is mediocre rice from a place in the night market. The holiday is over so the shops are back to normal business hours, which means not much is open during the day. After lunch we go and feed the fish one last time. They got a treat, as we had at least a pound of food to give up before we left:



One last look from the gazebo-in-the-sea:



After we pack up and leave the apartment for the last time (after Nat realizes she walked out with her slippers on and had to go back and get her shoes) we head over to Nat's cousin's to return the bike, then hit up her aunt's house for a final goodbye, where we are joined by her other aunt. We hang out and have tea for a bit then set sail and head for the hills for a quick detour.



I took the family up to a local road I had ridden on a handful of times to look for monkeys, and sure enough they were there. It's getting pretty easy since they seem to pretty much be everywhere other than the breakfast shop. As we rolled up to the area they instantly started barking at us, and before long we spotted them:



This time I actually took a video:

Finally, monkeys on film!

Up the road we took a look at the aborigine bridge and noted that there was a Catholic church in this tiny town:



After one more drive by past the monkeys on Nat's side, we went to the Mr. Liu peanut shop and got a bunch of cans of various snacks to bring back with us. After that, we headed to the temple for our last stop. This is the Daoist temple that I've gone to several times, the Meihua temple which I've mentioned quite a few times before. Here's a look at the front, coming in:



To answer Terren, I use Daoism though Taoism is more widely used. The pinyin system, which I've used to study, spells it "dao" which of course is the word for path/road/way. So I go with Daoism instead of Taoism. I've seen both used. Either way, it's not Buddhism, even though they both use the Laughing Buddha, which is the fat dude always pictured in the statue, which makes it more confusing, especially since he was supposedly a Zen Buddhist in real life, if he existed at all.

So we did the ceremony as a last step before we left the county and headed back to Taipei. Grace said we should go there, as it's a headquarters for Daoism in the country and before you leave you should go (I mean "should" if it's your religion). When I say "ceremony" here I really don't know exactly what I'm talking about.

Of course, neither of us are Daoist, so we watched what others were doing with the incense and did the same. Apparently we did it wrong, but no big deal really. I have to admit I felt strange doing this. I don't know how to explain "strange" here, other than I felt a bit spacey walking around with the incense.

Nat said she remembered taking a pic at one of the stone lions when she was a teenager, so we took one of Nat & Julia so she can remember when she brings her husband here in 30 years:



We hen drove an hour in rush hour traffic to make dinner with Calvin & family, but thankfully the traffic wasn't too crazy and we were only about 15 minutes late. We went to Tina's again, the organic place. One again good food. This time I got what Nat had last time, the pork:



Back at the apartment, I realize what a huge amount of shit I have to pack still:



It's funny, but a week ago I was ready to go home. Being back in Luodong today made me realize that I'm not. I mean, some part of me is, but then I feel like I've spent so much time building up a comfort zone that I have a lot of the details down here. I no longer feel like I'm vacation but that I partially live here. New Jersey seems years away. In some small way, I've grown roots here in these 6 weeks that make me want to stay.

I'm sure we'll be back. Hopefully there's less rain next time.

Full picture set of the day here: Flickr set or slideshow.

Taiwan Day 41 - Out With a Bang

Today was it, the last day on the bike. The whole day is mine to take, if I so choose. So what do I do? Go back to Yangmingshan? Shoot for 100? Something else? I woke up early and really didn't know what to do. I rolled out at about 6:30, the sun pretty much done making it's appearance for the morning, and traffic still pretty light. I rolled down to the bridge the fastest way I could. This opened up any of 3 different ways I could take. I essentially punted the decision until the end.

As I got to the bridge I said fuck it, let's go to the Queen's Head rocks out on the north coast. The bike map looked reasonable, and I was over the bridge and on route 2 in no time. Traffic was normal, nothing crazy, and the pace was solid. No rain, despite the forecast calling for morning showers.

The coast was awesome because it was a different kind of terrain than I'm used to. Gone were the big trees and mountains and instead there were smaller blocks of rock covered in long grasses, almost like an ocean prairie, but vertical. These grasses must be super tough to be able to withstand the storms that ravage the coast. Another interesting thing I noted was that the area was somewhat dead.

Witness this apartment complex. I have never seen anything like this here, just totally abandoned. The shops on the bottom level were in shambles, as if some sort of blight hit and everyone just up and left. I'd love to know why this area is so neglected, especially with the ultra pricey shore town of Danshui not even 30 minutes away by car.



Maybe it has something to do with the weather. Shortly after I saw some massive, power-generating windmills. Maybe it's just too harsh here to support much of anything. Who knows, but I enjoyed the coast today, and in just 2:08 I was at the entrance of the recreation area with the Queen's Head rocks. But they charge admission to go near it. I said screw that and just took a long-distance picture and rolled out.

After a quick stop at 7-11 for some water and a Snickers bar, I turned off the coast road and started climbing up the backside of Yangmingshan. I had looked at the map quickly and saw that 2 connected to 101 up there somewhere. I guess I'm getting a bit blase as far as getting lost is concerned. With the GPS I know what direction I need to go, and where I've been. So unless I fall off the mountain, I should be good to go. Sure enough, it all worked out.

I decided to throw this in as my second goal of the day. Last ride, go for broke. So after the nice coast roll I hit the hills with the big mountain as the next target. As usual, it went up, and I slogged up with it. I think this pic somewhat goes hand-in-hand with what I quoted below. It's pretty epic here sometime. Shortly after I took this pic it started to rain, which was only appropriate for my last ride.



My average speed crapped out on the hills, dropping from 18 to 15 in no time. That happens here, which is to be expected when you go up 3000 feet. As I was getting to where I thought I should turn, sure enough a road took off to the right and said it was for the Datun Scenic area, which is what I was aiming for.

I was riding along the ridge on the side of the mountain and a cloud just started dumping down the hill. It was such a strange and unique moment. I wrote the following elsewhere, which I'll just quote here:

"Gotta say that riding in the hills here so much makes me understand why religion is so prevalent here. I was riding up along a ridge on Yangmingshan today and a cloud/fog just poured down the mountain onto the roadway. I've never seen anything like it, and was concerned for a second that I had found myself in the middle of some insane weather phenomenon. It was like a giant was pouring the cloud down from above. It literally ran down the hill at 20 mph, just rushing down on top of the road. Pure insanity."

It was really awesome. If you live up in these hills and farm them, you likely feel as if you're seeing the hand of god (or some set of probably constantly bickering gods) almost daily. When the clouds go and you can see the valley, I imagine it only reinforces that feeling.

The top was so-so clear. You could see much of the 800 foot detour to the top, but not all of it. I was under no delusion that I'd be able to see anything but thick fog, so I skipped the leg-grinding extension and started down the mountain after a quick pit stop at the bathroom and vending machine at the visitor center. I'm actually fairly sure bikes aren't allowed up to the top, and it was a bit of a mob scene today, as many people have the whole week off.

I took the downhill fast, as everything was dry on this side. It was the very last test of the bike, and it did not disintegrate, nor explode, which is fairly boring as far as the narrative goes, but it did allow me to actually make it back to tell the story.

I came off the hill about 70 miles in. At this point I certainly had to go for the hat trick and bag the century, which is 100 miles for those non-bikers reading (ie, my mom and Maureen). I rolled out another 20-ish on the bikeway and then headed up the hill the most reasonable way I could, which still hurt. At the top, I stopped at the Family Mart for 2 teas and a pork bun. I was 98 miles in at this point.



This was good, regardless of how good it actually was. I sat down and watched the world, and enjoyed the non movement for a bit. I got back on the bike and rolled to the front door of the apartment and the GPS said 99.3 miles. I usually don't do this, but I rolled around the block to top it off at 100.1. On the way, everyone else happened to be coming back to the apartment for a quick stop before going out to get a haircut for Nat & Julia.

So that's it, my last ride of the trip. While I'm ready to go home I do have to say I'm going to miss the biking here. The mystery of this island is such a huge draw to me. Once again, I'll quote myself from something I wrote today:

"I'm going to miss the biking here. I really like it here. So many things are just awesome, new, wild, and raw. Having said that, I'm pretty sure if I biked like this for 2 years I'd kill myself before the 2 years was up. I'm getting way, way too comfortable in traffic now, sometimes riding 6 inches from cars/trucks/scooters doing well over 20 mph. Today I jumped in front of a 5 ton cement truck that was cutting us off at a traffic light and yelled at the guy. Have to imagine that would bite me in the ass eventually."

Back at the apartment, the reality strikes me that the value of salty Chinese breakfast food cannot be overstated. Calvin bought me some stuff and it is nothing short of remarkably fantastic.

I'm going to more or less wrap up the post with that. The afternoon was my doing a lot of email and messages and catching up on personal things while everyone was out. Then I made dinner for everyone, which was a Chicken Florentine Casserole I picked from allrecipes.com. And I drank some red wine, like 3 glasses of it.

At dinner, I also learned more about the religion of the country, and what I have been calling Buddhism is actually Daoism. I'll cover more on that in the next few days, when I learn more.

Full picture set of the day here: Flickr set or slideshow.

Taiwan Day 40 - Danshui

Slept in a bit today, felt like I could use it. We bought some bread from the German place yesterday so I had some of that for breakfast then headed out the door for a quick 2 hours on the bikeway. There really wasn't anything special about the ride other than it being an actual loop as opposed to the usual out & back. I did have 1 instance where some dude I passed tried to hang on, but he was shortly obliterated by my massive pectoral muscles (Ren & Stimpy, and no I'm not drinking yet).

Back to the house and I decided to take Julia out to Guanyinshan which is the local mountain I've gone up and over a few times now. Nat decided to go as well and we tooled around the place a bit, checking out the massively hazy view and then the sculpture park, where Julia played the fool like usual:



We then went to the visitor center and talked to the people in there and decided to drive out to the Queen's Head rock out on the North Coast. Nat called Calvin and asked if they wanted to go. He said we could meet for a quick lunch and then go. Or something like that.

I thought about Terren while waiting for lunch. I love that I'm using Terren to take these pics. Ok so this one isn't like Vanity Fair material but the vast majority of people here were salty Taiwanese betel nut-types. These 2 are back to work, just like many people on this day. The holiday has pretty much ended.



Almost 2 hours after we had decided to go, the trip to the Queen's Head is scrapped and we instead go to Danshui which is a touristy ocean-ish town with loads of shops and so on. It's usually good for some solid junk purchases, finger foods, and coffee. On second thought, we really should have gone for lunch since there's so much good food I had to pass on because I was full.

It was a beautiful day, great for checking out Danshui. Glad we got to go here, as it's a middle ground for everyone involved. Not too far, outside, and lots to do. I managed to score 2 team issue bikes:



We sat down to have coffee and people watch, though just as many people were looking at me. I felt sort of like a zoo animal, but I still get a kick out of it. I took a bunch of pictures today, so check the gallery to see a good cross section of interesting people. Today I decided to...Represent!



Who dressed this freak? It's literally 80 degrees out:



Life is pain:



Are the girls here *really* that innocent? These 2 girls embody the look I get from about 100 people a day, often younger kids like this who I guess are just curious. I mean, I see white people every hour up here in the Taipei area. Am I that hot and/or freakish looking? Maybe it's the cute kid.



I like this boat:



After coffee, the kids play. Here Julia is enjoying just running around:



This is blurry but I like it. Some days I think my daughter is cute, but I'm her dad and she's probably just normal looking. Other days I look at her and think that her teen years are going to be really, really tough for me:



On the way back Nat stops to get new glasses. And of course the spirit of Terren was with me here. I admit that I'm pressing my luck now. But if I didn't try I wouldn't be very entertaining would I?



Back at home, we get Pizza Hut by my suggestion. Seriously, I've eaten so much Chinese food that it just doesn't matter anymore. I'm in need for something else. I've had noodles and rice every day for 40 days. A little pizza is good for the soul. And it's actually pretty good here.

Full picture set of the day here: Flickr set or slideshow.