Normbrero

We make holes in teeth!

Monday, May 19, 2008

The Train Guy

I said last week I was going to blog my train ride to work one day. I forgot today but what just happened at the Summit station makes me want to write this. Basically here's the setup. Every day we hit the Summit station with a fairly full train but not packed. The 2 seaters have 1-2 people and the 3 seaters have 2 people.

I always take the 3 seater and sit next to the window. When I get on there are still totally empty 3 seaters and my approach is that the 2 seaters always get full and the 3 seaters sometimes get full. So you have a better chance of being comfortable in the 3 seater. You are absolutely guaranteed to be with someone in a 2 seater.

At New Providence a guy takes the 2nd seat next to me. Probably about 6 feet tall, maybe 170-180 pounds. So you're talking almost 12 feet of humanity and a little over 350 pounds already occupying that 2 seater. This is generally a good thing because *for the most part* this means a smaller woman or nobody at all will sit with you. As an aside, could you possibly have any idea where this is going?

Another thing to mention is that you can influence who sits with you in that middle seat. Sometimes you'll see someone eying up all the seats and you can make slight eye contact, then grab your bag off the middle seat and put it on your lap. Often the person will take it as a queue that you welcome them and they'll sit down. I only employ this method if someone is seriously eying your empty seat and one other and there are plenty of people left standing. Otherwise I ignore them all and hope they pick someone else.

As another aside I really don't care who sits next to me so long as they're not big and fat or soaking wet from the rain. Also, women with a lot of perfume irk me. Other than that I really don't care. I don't prefer the pretty girls to sit down or anything. I'm sure that's what most of you are thinking, that you always hope the hotties sit next to you. Not at all. Just as often as not the cute girls yap on the goddamn phone or put on makeup the whole ride in. Another thing that irks me are people who fall asleep and lean on me. How about this? Take your big fat ham of a body and sleep in your fucking bed, not on my arm.

Anyway, the people are almost done filing in, and here come 2 small girls and Bigfoot. These are like the last 3 people. Well first girl has rolling luggage so she's off to the vestibule. I make no eye contact with the second girl because I'm indifferent now. More than likely we've got the wide-open seat because Bigfoot isn't going to sit between 360 pounds of men. Or...wait...or...is he?

For real?

Well over 6 feet and probably 240 pounds? So this seat has to be tipping 600 pounds now with all 3 of us. Come on man, have some pride. If that's me, and I've been in this situation plenty of times, no way I'm asking to sit there. The ride to Penn Station is 35 minutes from Summit. You can't stand that long? This is why you broke your scale. If I'm late to catch the train and there are no open 3 seaters I won't ever ask to sit in the middle of 2 people. I don't mean rarely, I mean never. Even if there are 2 Olive Oil characters, no thanks, I'll stand.

So the guy isn't that bad to sit next to but he's hot, just radiating heat. I mean it's all of 7:30 in the morning. If I'm not out on my bike I don't want to be associated with the expression "radiating heat" at that time of day. Wish I would have gambled with the last girl and tried to get her to sit here. But no, figured I had a clean ride to NYC today. Oh well, no luck.

In all fairness this guy is totally space-respectful so it's not that bad. But you know how it goes. And today there's a 30 minute delay. And the jerkoff just passed gas. Good luck Monday morning.

You know what I might do? Take a 2 seater for 2 weeks straight and see what kind of person chooses to sit next to me. Seems like a good social experiment. I wonder if I should make note of my shirt color. Certainly I should normalize the experiment as best as I can. Terren, looking in your direction for suggestions.

Weekend Recap

I did not race this weekend. But I did decide to ride. I didn't race because Julia went to the doctor Friday and we found she had an ear infection on top of her cold. And Saturday that finally hit me, which is par for the course. But I said fuck it and rode anyway, a spin of my 38 mile loop which I knocked out in just under 2 hours, a personal best. So despite all of this hand wringing, and weight gain, here I am posting records on even 2 hour loops. I'm still not sure what to make of it all. I checked my riding log and since the week before Taiwan I have only 1 week of 5+ hours of riding.

Yesterday I did the same loop in reverse, and it started raining as I walked out the door. So 38 miles again, this time in the rain. I was 3.5 minutes slower but I attribute that to the rain. When I got finished my throat started to hurt more and my congestion was worse. It probably wasn't a great idea but Monday morning and I feel fine. Still lingering effects of a cold but not bad, though as I sit here on the train I'm feeling more and more tired by the minute. Quite frankly I was sick of not getting in quality saddle time on the weekends so I just decided to go at it in the rain.

I think I'm going back to 5 days on the bike. I'm just not getting the volume I need with 4. But then, I seem to be improving. Also, consider my ratio of time this weekend. By not racing, I spent 4 hours of life to ride 4 hours. If I had raced, I would have spent 9 hours of life to ride 2.5 hours. It's hard to argue that Tymor trip is worth it. That leaves me with no drop races for the rest of the year. I have a contention on Father's Day, the 3rd Sunday in June. I'm not going to cross that bridge right now. No sense over-thinking it.

That's all for Monday morning. Still plenty of comments to get to, including what I do in my new job. Oh, and the team jerseys came in. I'll leave you with this sexy picture of me to croon over all week:

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