We make holes in teeth!

Thursday, November 10, 2005


There are some people I know who need to be different, who strive to be different, as if their sole purpose in life is to prove to other people they're different. While I'm sure we all need to feel we're not the same as everyone around us, most of us go through life not making it their mission statement to pronounce just how different they are every time you see them. Yeah, we've all got our quirks. But they're our quirks, and I make the general assumption that people mostly don't care.

I can speak for myself when I say that, basically, I don't care. Hey listen, it's great that you feel the need to drink your soda by boring a hole into the side of the can and sucking like a circus seal. But do you think I give a shit? Do you think I need to be clued in to your overriding identity problems constantly? The answer is no. I don't care if you cross the street sideways. I don't care if you put on a sock and a shoe on your right foot first before getting to the left foot. I just don't care that you balance a dinner plate on your head while watching 24 on Tuesday nights.

This rant is really for those people who need to prove they're different, not people who are different. There's a big distinction. I'm fine with your decision to not put milk & sugar in your coffee, just so long as you don't scream to me how special you are because you do so. Listen, I drink my coffee black too. And I roast my own coffee. And I use a French Press. But the only people I tell this too are people who like to drink black coffee or who are really interested in coffee roasting (and the select few dopes who actually read this, a number which is sure to go down after I call them all dopes). I know fully well that most people could give 2 shits that I buy green coffee beans. Big stinking deal.

So if you're one of those people who needs to announce to all your friends just how different you are, just how special your life is in your own eyes, do us all a favor and give us a break. You don't need to prove anything to us. Look, the reason we hang out with you in the first place is because we enjoy your company. Or maybe it's because we're forced to because we work with you. Failing that, suffice it to say that you don't need to prove anything to anyone. Just be yourself, and let the world take care of itself. There's really no other way to be.


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