We make holes in teeth!

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Banana Taco

I love food. I really do. There's no other way for me to represent it than to profess my love for calories in all sorts of shapes and sizes. If it has calories, chances are I like it. If it has a lot of calories, chances are I like it a lot. Of course that explains how I was able to get up into the 280s in another life.

Thus I battle, something I've been doing on and off for probably 8 years now. And really I've pretty much won. I'm just about 5'11" and weigh 190 as of this morning. I have a reasonable muscle base, more like a linebacker than a cornerback. So I'm in decent shape, especially compared to the average American though admittedly that's like comparing your 40 time to a 2 legged groundhog's.

Then enter biking, where power-to-weight ratio means oh, oh so much. So 190 is no longer acceptable. I want to be lower, lighter, and stronger. I want to climb better. When it comes down to it there's no good reason to lug all that excess lard up the hill. And the battle continues.

One of the coolest tricks I have to lose weight is pretty ingenious really. I'm going to share it with you because my loyal readers, all 5 of you, deserve nothing but the best. I want to help all of you get where you want to be, weight wise, as easy as you can. So in the interest of being a benevolent blogger I'm going to share. My magic secret is this. Eat less.

OK maybe not that ingenious but unfortunately for the loads among us that's the straight reality of how we need to lose weight. For guys like ChrisG and Woody, they know nothing about these battles. For the rest of us it really comes down to eating less and getting used to being hungry from time to time.

The problem is, food tastes so damn good. Cooking, chewing, swallowing, and being a fat lard - all of these things just feel good. Few things feel as good as chowing down on a big fat block of cheese, at least short of going with a full wallet to a place like Chopsticks in Philly. But that's another post entirely.

Let me get to the real point. When I eat less I feel better. Sure there are times when I get hungry and my stomach wants food even though I know it doesn't really need it. But most of the day I just feel better. I sleep better. I ride better. I have more energy. Overall everything just feels better.

Speaking in a highly scientific manner, I feel like I get "gummed up" when I eat too much. Often times the calories I cut are useless carbs which seem to have an adverse effect on how I feel overall. No matter how good that bagel tastes, it's going to end up eating you in the end, like Pizza the Hut.

I've been using for a while and here is my weight chart for the last year:

Interesting that I seem to go in 6 month cycles where I bottom out then bounce back a bit. Actually this graph resembles an old carriage road running down a steep hill. Have you ever ridden a steep hill that has a bunch of tiny little flat areas? Those are from the horse-drawn carriage days, when the horses would need a flat area to stop and rest. So any road with those is an old road. Or you really live in the boonies.

I think this is fine and doesn't represent the typical rebound many people experience where they end up heavier in the end. Hopefully this particular rebound is over and I can make a solid push to the 170s now. I really want to see 179 on the scale this year. Of all the goals I have that would be the most impressive to attain.


"What's up fat guy. Daily measurements of my weight are pretty useless. I swear to you that one day last week I weighed 168.5, after a run, but also after a quart of water and a sandwich. The next day I weighed 176. I did however smoke over 4 pounds of crack in between, but you would think that you exhale most of that out."

Oh you fat lying cunt you're not 168.5. I crapped an alligator the other day and it sang the Star Spangled Banner in Farsi. True story!

I like weighing myself every day. It helps me see a pattern and prevents me from slipping too much. My Friday weight is often what I go by to see how I'm doing overall and my 7 day average on Friday is sort of my "official" weight.

176 eh? I guess I could threaten that. It might be really hard but I'll see what I can do. If I get close expect me to call you up and demand you get on the scale immediately. I'm pretty far away now but you just never know how it's going to work out. Nothing would be sweeter than to weigh less than you for one day. Well, ignoring the Chopsticks stuff again. If that happens I might be forced to parade around your house naked for the day with pompoms and shit.


"i spit water on my keyboard when i read the "this morning i was 212 comment" while thinking "no wonder norm wants me to bring hotdogs to the 24 HOA!! :)""

Oh I see you get pleasure from my being a big fat pig? I see how this goes. Man let me tell you that you really have no idea what screwed up things you want to eat during a 24 hour race. The later the race goes on the more the solo contestants are like a bunch of pregnant women. Hot dogs are the least strange thing on the menu.

"I said banana taco you shit! Where's my fucking banana taco?"

Steve and Jake, it could be a real fun night. Of course smart money is on most of us being in camp most of the night and just hanging out and so on. But you just never know how it's going to turn out. More than likely we'll have fun with it all.

So food. I like it. One of these days I'll have to scan a picture of myself from 8 years ago. You'll be appalled and disgusted to say the least.

Today's post is focused on food and weight but there is bike stuff to talk about. My Kentucky saddle sore didn't get a break today because I'm going with the "hammer it home" weekly routine so I can take next week off with good conscious. Actually it got a little better yesterday so I'm optimistic it won't engulf my ass in the coming days.

I put on my diaper shorts with the extra thick padding and set out for a more tame loop around the swamp. I didn't have the same power as yesterday but the route was flatter so I kept a faster pace. It struck me on today's ride that this 'tweener' pace probably doesn't do me any good at all. By Thursday I'm sufficiently spent that I can't go hard and I don't have enough time to lay out 3-4 hours of steady tempo to help my endurance. But as weight loss aid it works great so it's not a total wash.

Today is also more validation that less food means more energy. Usually I'm really dragging by Thursday but I woke up at 4:49 and was on the bike by 5:11. I have to imagine that since I sleep better I don't crash as hard when I skimp on sleep during the week. Hopefully tonight I can get a solid 8. Right now at work I feel really fantastic. So in this case, less is more.

Thursday's FGI: 190.

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  • At 8:34 AM, Anonymous FatCat said…

    Eat less - yes, that's really all it. It's all mathematics and ball bearings these days and eating less calories is, of course the answer. For me it's always bee true weight I keep off too. I graduated RU 235. Now I'm 205. I'm a sloth tho. I just eat less and hardly touch booze now. Such is life. Now if I wasn't such a sloth then who knows.

    Anyway, you were right about Avatars. I know it has nothing to do with your blog but it's my dime.

  • At 10:58 AM, Anonymous walter said…

    Yes, I agree, food is an enemy of mine as well. Guess that explains the 10 pounds in a little over a month. Isnt this riding stuff and working outside in 90 degree heat supposed to counter that. I dont know where I go wrong, maybe the pint of ice cream at 10 pm isnt as ggod as I think. Again, great read, thanks.

  • At 12:52 PM, Blogger shaggz said…

    a lot of my comments on your blog have been through mtbnj pms, but feel free to post them over here if they are relevant, which most are not.

  • At 2:03 PM, Anonymous el-bonefish-fatso said…

    dear norm:
    i too suffer from the 'fat guy on a skinny bike' syndrome. it is not entirely my fault. 'tis genetics at is finest. see, us mid-european block types are built like barrels...kegs, if you will. low to the ground for the purpose of not bending down so far and stout for carrying heavy objects over long distances. unfortunately, these traits were fantastic for my grandfather who farmed in slovakia but not so good for the modern-day bonefish who needs to be lean to climb, fit into the new "european" sized clothing and escape hungy barracuda. so as you can see, i also fight the uphill battle since i'm like a XXXXXXXL in this new european garb and end up looking like a circa 1988 materail girl..

  • At 5:49 PM, Blogger ChrisG said…

    Oh, I wish it was as easy as it might appear. I am hungry ALL THE TIME and my diet, particularly during the week, is befitting some sort of monk. I was actually 10 pounds heavier when I was in my late teens and twenties, playing soccer and drinking way too much. I love food no less than anyone else, I suspect, but I also dig trying to go fast on my bike, so I'm willing to make the sacrifices. As simple as that equation is, it's really the core of it all.

    On a side note, I've had excellent results using generic hydrocortisone ointment on saddle sores. And is it just me, or is "ointment" a funny word?


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